WEBVTT NOTE Paragraph 00:02:55.628 --> 00:02:57.851 Boys, boys! 00:02:58.001 --> 00:03:02.998 Rabbi Jacob is leaving. C'mon, lets go and say goodbye. 00:03:25.413 --> 00:03:27.319 Shalom, my friends. 00:03:31.603 --> 00:03:35.732 - Have a safe trip. - May you live in peace 00:03:36.112 --> 00:03:38.340 Have a "bon voyage" 00:03:38.706 --> 00:03:43.371 Reb Samuel, please, 30 years since he was in in Paris, France. 00:03:43.463 --> 00:03:47.586 - Please keep an eye out on 'mein' husband. - Of course. 00:03:47.660 --> 00:03:52.529 'Rebbe', what I got for you they never heard in Paris, France. 00:03:52.676 --> 00:03:54.760 One of my cheesecakes. 00:03:56.130 --> 00:03:59.905 Give it to David for a bar mitzvah present. 00:04:00.300 --> 00:04:03.487 Absolutely, absolutely! 00:04:08.309 --> 00:04:11.969 Hey mac, I don't have all day. 00:04:12.266 --> 00:04:14.958 - Let's go, huh? - Yes my boy. Yes. 00:04:15.131 --> 00:04:18.383 Come with me to the airport, all of you. 00:04:30.248 --> 00:04:33.366 Hey, this is a taxi, not a synagogue. 00:04:33.458 --> 00:04:34.872 Ok, move over. 00:04:34.928 --> 00:04:39.119 Jacob, don't forget to give a big kiss to our nephew Solomon. 00:04:39.188 --> 00:04:42.167 And also Esther and Tzippe and Moishe. 00:04:42.233 --> 00:04:44.893 I give, I give. All the Schmoll family. 00:04:44.963 --> 00:04:47.102 Jacob, you know what I want? 00:04:47.180 --> 00:04:50.586 I want more 'Je Reviens' perfume. 00:04:50.640 --> 00:04:51.913 Bye, bye. 00:04:52.031 --> 00:04:56.155 Ok, 'Je Reviens'. Je Reviens! 00:05:03.276 --> 00:05:06.263 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 00:05:06.366 --> 00:05:08.716 ♪ Dai dai dai 00:05:08.833 --> 00:05:14.602 No Samuel, not "dai dai dai". It's French... France! 00:05:15.435 --> 00:05:18.211 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 00:05:18.307 --> 00:05:21.860 ♪ The land that gave life to me 00:05:32.274 --> 00:05:35.818 What's going on? Will you hurry, please, driver. 00:05:35.896 --> 00:05:38.606 Hey, what do you want, miracles? 00:05:40.665 --> 00:05:44.328 Don't worry, Rabbi, we'll catch your plane. C'mon! 00:05:48.510 --> 00:05:50.805 Ready? One, two, three! 00:06:25.355 --> 00:06:28.341 You see my boy? That's a miracle. 00:07:18.568 --> 00:07:22.611 - Monsieur, may I take the wheel? - You're a pain in the neck! 00:07:25.053 --> 00:07:27.053 Monsieur, watch out! 00:07:27.200 --> 00:07:31.031 What the hell's he doing in the emergency lane? 00:07:33.659 --> 00:07:36.207 See that, an Englishman! 00:07:36.715 --> 00:07:39.795 I don't like the English. Do you? 00:07:39.846 --> 00:07:42.229 - Yeah. - I don't. 00:07:42.740 --> 00:07:46.770 - Look, Solomon! - What? - See, a Swiss and a German. 00:07:46.841 --> 00:07:49.159 - So? - Swiss and German. 00:07:49.224 --> 00:07:51.827 This isn't France anymore! 00:07:55.997 --> 00:07:58.321 Now we're behind a Belgian! 00:07:58.368 --> 00:08:01.479 - Belgians! - Why, don't you like Belgians, either? 00:08:01.546 --> 00:08:06.289 They pollute us, those Belgians! Look at his exhaust. Belgian ehaust! 00:08:06.596 --> 00:08:10.138 Hold on, I'll pass him. I'll 'tres-pass' him. 00:08:28.330 --> 00:08:29.718 Woah, woah! 00:08:31.873 --> 00:08:34.254 Look at that, Solomon. Look! 00:08:34.301 --> 00:08:36.002 Yeah. What? 00:08:36.067 --> 00:08:40.147 It's clean, quiet no smoke. He's a Frenchman! 00:08:40.179 --> 00:08:41.544 Monsieur. 00:08:41.598 --> 00:08:44.354 Can't you line up like everyone else? 00:08:44.406 --> 00:08:47.295 Moron, cretin, cuckhold... meathead! 00:08:47.369 --> 00:08:49.706 Hear that? Now THAT'S French! 00:08:49.761 --> 00:08:52.272 In the emergency lane, too! 00:08:53.771 --> 00:08:58.419 - You got no shame! - Woof... woof! Grr! 00:09:01.420 --> 00:09:03.795 Hey, are you finished?! 00:09:05.791 --> 00:09:09.131 - What is it? - You can see, a wedding! 00:09:09.340 --> 00:09:13.484 I'm also marrying off my daughter. Come on let me pass. 00:09:28.619 --> 00:09:32.477 - Did you see the bride? - Yes. - She's black. 00:09:34.947 --> 00:09:38.787 Not cafe-au-lait, but black! And he's white! 00:09:39.049 --> 00:09:40.460 So? 00:09:40.834 --> 00:09:43.247 He's white, she's black... 00:09:43.317 --> 00:09:44.991 Black. Oh, pfft! 00:10:04.766 --> 00:10:07.567 Hey, Solomon, c'mon! 00:10:07.903 --> 00:10:09.738 Yes sir, coming. 00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:13.336 Let me pass, my daughter's getting married. 00:10:13.337 --> 00:10:16.821 Ah, that's your daughter? Congratulations. 00:10:16.939 --> 00:10:20.687 No, she's not my daughter. The bride's black! 00:10:21.162 --> 00:10:23.121 Monsieur, Monsieur! 00:11:01.101 --> 00:11:04.130 See that, Solomon? They have cars, now. 00:11:04.198 --> 00:11:06.274 Blacks in white Rolls! 00:11:06.336 --> 00:11:09.035 - It couldn't happen to you, Sir. - What? 00:11:09.060 --> 00:11:11.511 Your daughter marrying a black man. 00:11:11.553 --> 00:11:15.671 - Waddaya mean by that? - Monsieur is rather racist. - Racist? 00:11:15.725 --> 00:11:18.832 Moi?! Racist? Solomon! Racist?! 00:11:20.008 --> 00:11:23.254 Thank God Antoinette is marrying a Frenchman 00:11:23.288 --> 00:11:26.730 A thoroughly white one. Even a bit pale. Huh? 00:11:26.964 --> 00:11:29.922 - And pimply. - How about that lisp? 00:11:29.985 --> 00:11:33.932 He lisps, but he's rich, like me. And Catholic, like everyone. 00:11:33.998 --> 00:11:38.234 Not everyone, Monsieur. Me, for example, I'm Jewish. 00:11:41.710 --> 00:11:43.533 You're Jewish? 00:11:43.924 --> 00:11:46.708 How's that? Solomon is Jewish? 00:11:47.338 --> 00:11:49.368 Solomon is Jewish, oh! 00:11:49.517 --> 00:11:53.187 And my uncle Jacob, coming from New York, is a rabbi. 00:11:53.596 --> 00:11:56.055 - But he's not Jewish? - Oh, yes. 00:11:57.061 --> 00:11:59.895 - Not your whole family? - Oh, yes. 00:12:02.864 --> 00:12:05.830 Doesn't matter, I'll keep you on anyway. 00:12:08.422 --> 00:12:10.817 - That'll be Madame. - We're late. 00:12:10.842 --> 00:12:14.362 - Monsieur's gonna get it! - OK, enough of that! 00:12:15.462 --> 00:12:18.709 - Hello, Victor? - Hello, Germaine... 00:12:19.041 --> 00:12:22.089 Let me explain!...Bla bla 00:12:22.367 --> 00:12:23.940 Bla, bla... 00:12:23.978 --> 00:12:27.661 Quiet, Victor! You're a liar, a hypocrite, and a fake. 00:12:28.332 --> 00:12:31.536 You, be quiet too! If you wanna marry my daughter tomorrow 00:12:31.561 --> 00:12:34.516 - I must finish you today. - What? - Your crowns. 00:12:34.613 --> 00:12:37.348 How do I know for sure... 00:12:37.433 --> 00:12:40.577 Shh! How do I know you were alone in Deauville? 00:12:40.632 --> 00:12:42.092 She's madly jealous! 00:12:42.133 --> 00:12:44.638 With good reason. Monsieur, is such a hunk. 00:12:44.663 --> 00:12:45.548 Hello, Victor? 00:12:45.573 --> 00:12:47.949 I forbid you to hang up. 00:12:48.467 --> 00:12:51.843 Fine, wait. Wait now. Wait 00:12:56.303 --> 00:12:58.887 Damn! Watch the road! 00:13:00.511 --> 00:13:02.431 - Tell me, Germaine. - Yes? 00:13:02.514 --> 00:13:04.697 - Did you know? - Know what? 00:13:04.736 --> 00:13:07.054 - Solomon... - What about Solomon? 00:13:07.101 --> 00:13:08.857 - Is Jewish. - So? 00:13:08.916 --> 00:13:10.609 The truck, the truck! 00:13:29.657 --> 00:13:31.865 Solomon? Solomon! 00:13:32.317 --> 00:13:33.901 Hey, Solomon! 00:13:51.992 --> 00:13:53.784 There he is. 00:14:18.602 --> 00:14:19.935 Garcon? 00:14:20.485 --> 00:14:22.985 A peppermint cordial. 00:14:31.615 --> 00:14:33.606 M. Slimane. 00:14:34.307 --> 00:14:37.624 Telephone for M. Slimane. 00:14:38.297 --> 00:14:40.090 That's me. 00:14:52.734 --> 00:14:55.011 Booth 2, Monsieur. 00:15:02.756 --> 00:15:03.888 Hello? 00:15:03.927 --> 00:15:06.752 - Mohammed Larbi Slimane? - That's me. 00:15:06.790 --> 00:15:08.556 Nobody's meeting you. 00:15:08.657 --> 00:15:11.692 - You fell into our trap, Slimane. - Who is this? 00:15:11.779 --> 00:15:14.791 - Fares is waiting in front of 'Les Deux Magots'. - Fares? 00:15:14.815 --> 00:15:17.733 You're not getting out of here alive. 00:15:17.852 --> 00:15:20.902 And your revolution ... *arkoum! 00:15:21.878 --> 00:15:23.227 Hello? 00:15:24.359 --> 00:15:25.842 Hello! 00:15:31.307 --> 00:15:33.386 In 30 seconds he'll come out. 00:15:33.446 --> 00:15:36.532 He'll see me, and try to run out the back. 00:15:36.586 --> 00:15:39.920 Colonel we can't snatch him in Saint Germain de Pres! 00:15:39.945 --> 00:15:42.560 - We had him earlier! - Shut up! 00:15:43.690 --> 00:15:46.297 Hurry, go wait on the other side. 00:16:01.388 --> 00:16:02.919 Fares. 00:16:57.301 --> 00:16:58.845 Hurry! 00:16:58.969 --> 00:17:00.595 Drive. 00:17:15.876 --> 00:17:17.169 Hello? 00:17:18.538 --> 00:17:20.230 Hello? Hello! 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:22.705 Mademoiselle, don't hang up 00:17:23.715 --> 00:17:25.066 Hello! 00:17:25.274 --> 00:17:26.961 Move, you! 00:17:27.042 --> 00:17:30.429 Arrange to send a tow truck immediately. 00:17:30.595 --> 00:17:33.481 A tug boat, more likely. 00:17:33.995 --> 00:17:35.220 Help me! 00:17:35.269 --> 00:17:38.187 Pull! Don't make such a fuss. 00:17:38.312 --> 00:17:40.505 Hello, hello! What? 00:17:40.808 --> 00:17:43.501 A strike? That's all I need! 00:17:43.767 --> 00:17:47.144 - My factory' on strike. - Me too. I'm on strike. 00:17:47.236 --> 00:17:49.284 I'm fed up, I've had it! 00:17:49.476 --> 00:17:51.850 What did you say? What? What? 00:17:51.965 --> 00:17:54.362 - Fed up! - Take that! 00:17:54.678 --> 00:17:58.533 Hello, I forbid them to strike, you hear? 00:17:58.822 --> 00:18:01.387 No! I'm telling you, no. 00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:04.262 Listen, just do as usual. 00:18:04.348 --> 00:18:07.767 You promise everything, and I give nothing. 00:18:07.836 --> 00:18:09.968 Solomon, a car! 00:18:10.085 --> 00:18:11.474 Aah! 00:18:12.520 --> 00:18:14.440 Hey! Hey! 00:18:16.134 --> 00:18:20.930 Hey, hey! Stop, stop. 00:18:27.152 --> 00:18:30.116 Punks, egoists, dirty bastards! 00:18:32.106 --> 00:18:34.092 Straight, then first on the left. 00:18:34.134 --> 00:18:36.683 The factory's at the end of the lane. 00:18:37.650 --> 00:18:41.545 Night is falling. We must absolutely find a tow truck. 00:18:41.855 --> 00:18:43.488 - Solomon. - Yes sir. 00:18:43.598 --> 00:18:47.103 Turn on the lights so they can find us easier. 00:18:47.193 --> 00:18:49.116 - No, Sir. - What? 00:18:49.156 --> 00:18:52.131 I'm not allowed to put the lights on. 00:18:52.236 --> 00:18:56.188 - Sir knows, I can't work on Saturday. - But, it's Friday. 00:18:56.212 --> 00:18:59.177 For us Sabbath starts Friday at sundown. 00:18:59.246 --> 00:19:01.904 And on Sabbath I can't work. 00:19:06.142 --> 00:19:09.558 Let's go, my beloved, *♪ Lechah dodi, 00:19:09.642 --> 00:19:13.402 Let's go, to meet the bride, ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 00:19:13.472 --> 00:19:17.648 let's welcome the presence of Shabbat ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah 00:19:17.702 --> 00:19:21.582 ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 00:19:21.790 --> 00:19:24.943 ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah* 00:19:25.273 --> 00:19:29.188 Say, Solomon, can't you make an exception tonight? 00:19:29.273 --> 00:19:32.066 I'll give you two Sabbaths off next week. 00:19:32.121 --> 00:19:34.765 Evidently, Sir doesn't know the tradition. 00:19:34.790 --> 00:19:39.121 I don't know any of your pantomimes and I'm proud of it! 00:19:40.816 --> 00:19:43.259 Sir isn't allowed to eat meat on Friday. 00:19:43.323 --> 00:19:46.957 I'm not allowed to use electricity Saturday. It's no dumber. 00:19:47.005 --> 00:19:49.917 - Yes it's dumber! - No it's not dumber! 00:19:51.854 --> 00:19:54.216 - Yes it's dumber. - No it's not dumber! 00:19:54.272 --> 00:19:56.977 I tell you it is, and give a week's notice! 00:19:57.023 --> 00:20:01.383 - Have your Sabbath every night! - Fine, as Monsieur wishes! 00:20:03.239 --> 00:20:04.884 Get out! 00:20:10.629 --> 00:20:13.041 Gdd... dmmn... yyyou! 00:20:46.522 --> 00:20:49.529 St Anthony of Padua, let me find a tow truck 00:20:49.585 --> 00:20:53.109 so I can fix my boat, my car, and hire a new chauffeur. 00:20:53.157 --> 00:20:55.714 A Catholic one, this time, I promise. 00:20:55.784 --> 00:20:58.882 Catholic like you, like me, like God. 00:21:00.074 --> 00:21:01.880 Oh, a light! 00:21:02.164 --> 00:21:04.220 Thank you, St Anthony. 00:21:21.788 --> 00:21:23.747 Anybody home? 00:21:26.191 --> 00:21:28.274 Concierge? 00:21:36.155 --> 00:21:37.645 Woah! 00:21:38.426 --> 00:21:40.117 Madame? 00:21:40.990 --> 00:21:42.738 Madame! 00:21:45.926 --> 00:21:47.564 Anybody home? 00:21:47.589 --> 00:21:48.853 (Ohhh!) 00:21:48.909 --> 00:21:51.139 Oh yeah, there's someone! 00:22:01.594 --> 00:22:03.889 - (Ohhhh!) - Aah! 00:22:06.497 --> 00:22:08.823 Aaahhh!! 00:23:07.676 --> 00:23:10.402 You'll end up talking, Slimane. 00:23:12.782 --> 00:23:15.069 What day? The coup d'etat. 00:23:15.106 --> 00:23:18.599 Which city? What time? Which regiment? 00:23:21.312 --> 00:23:23.645 The password, Slimane. 00:23:24.150 --> 00:23:26.369 You can murder me, Fares, 00:23:26.592 --> 00:23:29.853 but you can't pass yourself off as a judge. 00:23:46.085 --> 00:23:48.577 Ma t'Rhafeh! Slimane!* 00:23:49.168 --> 00:23:52.055 Halmatek! Smhat fik!* 00:23:52.080 --> 00:23:53.973 The people are with me. 00:23:54.059 --> 00:23:57.208 Yes, but power is at the end of a gun. 00:23:57.274 --> 00:23:59.172 Mao Tse Tung! 00:24:04.259 --> 00:24:06.676 Mohammed Larbi Slimane, 00:24:07.509 --> 00:24:11.613 as a president of this counter-revolutionary tribunal, 00:24:12.738 --> 00:24:16.530 I find you guilty of treason. against our government 00:24:16.588 --> 00:24:19.552 - An toum houm el khawana! - Habess!* 00:24:19.685 --> 00:24:23.395 - An toum houm el khawana! - Oun ta put.* 00:24:23.547 --> 00:24:25.408 What's this mumbo-jumbo? 00:24:25.463 --> 00:24:27.213 Khawana! 00:24:30.462 --> 00:24:33.036 Gentlemen, your verdict. 00:24:37.517 --> 00:24:39.146 Death! 00:24:40.819 --> 00:24:44.400 Talk, Slimane, and your life will be spared. 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:49.201 A revolution is like a bicycle. If it doesn't move forward, it falls. 00:24:49.392 --> 00:24:51.556 Eddy Merckx. (Belgian cyclist) 00:24:51.581 --> 00:24:53.844 No, Che Guevara. 00:25:24.328 --> 00:25:25.765 Oh! 00:25:28.773 --> 00:25:30.841 Sh, sh... 00:25:32.413 --> 00:25:33.779 Sh. 00:25:53.186 --> 00:25:55.433 The police ... 17 ? 00:26:13.210 --> 00:26:15.994 Now then, the police is 22... 00:26:16.107 --> 00:26:17.620 17 00:26:29.523 --> 00:26:30.942 Aziz. 00:26:33.994 --> 00:26:36.422 - Hello? - Hello, police? 00:26:36.459 --> 00:26:37.826 Yes. 00:26:37.897 --> 00:26:42.195 - G-Get me the commissioner. Hurry. - This is the commissioner. 00:26:42.265 --> 00:26:46.448 Come immediately to the Yankee chewing-gum factory. 00:26:46.526 --> 00:26:49.456 - Chewing-gum? - Yes, chewing-gum... 00:26:50.840 --> 00:26:53.034 And, who are you, sir? 00:26:53.065 --> 00:26:55.501 Victor Pivert. Manufacturer in Paris 00:26:55.543 --> 00:26:58.966 - Pivert? - Pivert. Like the green woodpecker. 00:27:05.298 --> 00:27:09.334 - I'm listening. - I had a car accident. 00:27:09.482 --> 00:27:11.060 I was looking for help 00:27:11.106 --> 00:27:14.761 when I ran into a gang of Wogs trying to kill each other. 00:27:14.854 --> 00:27:17.454 Wogs, you know, with brown faces. 00:27:17.865 --> 00:27:20.229 Where are you now? 00:27:20.291 --> 00:27:23.326 Here, in the factory office. Voila. 00:27:24.436 --> 00:27:28.338 Do not move. We're on our way. 00:27:28.564 --> 00:27:31.397 V-v-very nice of you. 00:27:33.951 --> 00:27:35.394 Hurry! 00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:42.238 Tell me M. Pivert; the Wogs, did you see them? 00:27:42.293 --> 00:27:46.645 I sure I did! Especially a fat oily one with his curly hair, 00:27:46.825 --> 00:27:50.347 and his tiny cruel eyes and black sun glasses. 00:27:51.608 --> 00:27:53.470 A real killer's face! 00:27:53.548 --> 00:27:55.850 Let them settle their scores. 00:27:55.897 --> 00:27:59.588 Fine! There'll be fewer of them. But not in our land. 00:27:59.643 --> 00:28:02.700 - Where are they? - Right here! 00:28:21.248 --> 00:28:23.231 Smash the door! *Kasser elbab!* 00:28:25.727 --> 00:28:27.483 Aaahh! 00:28:31.380 --> 00:28:32.890 I got him! 00:29:24.278 --> 00:29:25.988 Hey, hey! 00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:27.869 Hurry! 00:30:22.064 --> 00:30:24.148 Aaahh! 00:30:44.251 --> 00:30:45.680 Allez! 00:31:39.904 --> 00:31:41.153 He escaped! 00:31:41.185 --> 00:31:44.111 Couldn't help it, Colonel. *Ou ana helech* 00:31:45.424 --> 00:31:47.066 Pivert, Victor Pivert. 00:31:47.091 --> 00:31:49.700 Black Citroen DS, number 438ZA75. 00:31:49.732 --> 00:31:52.979 - At the river. 3 or 4 Kms. - Are you coming? 00:31:53.035 --> 00:31:57.093 No, he fired me. For all I care, he can run home. 00:32:02.138 --> 00:32:03.550 Ah! 00:32:30.487 --> 00:32:32.071 There he is! 00:33:17.643 --> 00:33:19.274 *Ha houwa! Ha! 00:33:56.732 --> 00:34:00.485 - What are you doing here? - Shut up and don't move. 00:34:00.568 --> 00:34:04.927 - I must return to my country and you're gonna help me. - Me?! Oh... 00:34:15.331 --> 00:34:18.968 Pivert, Victor Pivert, he just shot two men. 00:34:19.545 --> 00:34:21.770 Yes, a car on a boat. 00:34:21.882 --> 00:34:24.671 Put out an APB immediately! 00:34:26.132 --> 00:34:27.715 Europe flash. 00:34:29.612 --> 00:34:32.492 Mohamed Larbi Slimane, famous 3rd World leader, 00:34:32.517 --> 00:34:35.370 kidnapped yesterday in Paris, is still missing. 00:34:35.395 --> 00:34:40.210 Meanwhile grave events in his country have cut all communication. 00:34:40.275 --> 00:34:42.522 All France is following this story... 00:34:42.622 --> 00:34:44.555 Let me call the police. 00:34:44.735 --> 00:34:47.969 - They'll arrest Fares and let you go home. - Police?! 00:34:47.994 --> 00:34:51.003 They'll deliver me to our government's 'maramouches'. 00:34:51.028 --> 00:34:52.632 - Maramouches ? - Killers. 00:34:52.657 --> 00:34:54.260 - Fares?! - Colonel Fares. 00:34:54.306 --> 00:34:58.036 - So, everybody's against you? - No, the people are with me. 00:34:58.114 --> 00:35:01.967 - And you can't lie to the people all of the time! - Sure, you can! Easily. 00:35:01.992 --> 00:35:05.130 In my factory I lie to the people all day. 00:35:05.324 --> 00:35:08.236 They love being lied to. "The people!" 00:35:08.962 --> 00:35:11.041 We'll sweep out all that filth! 00:35:11.096 --> 00:35:15.069 If I can return tonight, tomorrow, I'll be Prime Minister. 00:35:15.224 --> 00:35:16.887 Prime Minister? 00:35:17.067 --> 00:35:21.038 I'm so happy to shake a Prime Minister's revolver. 00:35:21.344 --> 00:35:23.481 So much for petroleum! 00:35:23.994 --> 00:35:26.218 Oh! No more gas. 00:35:26.618 --> 00:35:28.366 I have to stop. 00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:39.254 What can he be doing? 00:35:40.045 --> 00:35:41.626 Where can he be? 00:35:41.726 --> 00:35:45.696 - What's wrong with you today? - My daughter's getting married. 00:35:45.737 --> 00:35:47.824 I'm open just as a favour to you. 00:35:47.865 --> 00:35:51.623 - You call this a favour? - Open your mouth and be quiet. 00:35:52.486 --> 00:35:56.403 Yes, M. Pivert's car? Yes we placed the call. 00:35:59.103 --> 00:36:00.363 - Madame? - Yes. 00:36:00.388 --> 00:36:02.919 - Hurry, Monsieur is on the phone. 00:36:04.116 --> 00:36:06.432 Oh, hey, hey! 00:36:07.448 --> 00:36:10.547 Clamp down hard! I'll be two minutes. 00:36:11.734 --> 00:36:12.983 Hello. 00:36:13.302 --> 00:36:14.731 Hello! 00:36:17.415 --> 00:36:20.062 - Don't answer. - It must be my wife. 00:36:20.140 --> 00:36:23.803 She's jealous, if I don't answer, she'll track me down. 00:36:23.886 --> 00:36:27.594 Fine, but one false move and... 00:36:30.937 --> 00:36:35.112 - Hello. Is that you, Germaine? - It's 11 AM. 00:36:35.242 --> 00:36:40.134 I've been expecting you, between cavities. Where'd you spend the night? 00:36:40.214 --> 00:36:44.007 - Say you're spending the weekend with a woman. - Oh, no, I beg you. 00:36:44.065 --> 00:36:48.112 - You're taking the plane with me! - I couldn't. - Go on! - Nuts! 00:36:48.172 --> 00:36:52.074 Germaine, I'm taking off in a plane with a woman. 00:36:52.161 --> 00:36:56.248 - A woman? Are you crazy? - Yes! Crazy about her. 00:36:56.326 --> 00:37:00.576 - What's she got that I don't? - What's she got? She's got, haha... 00:37:01.704 --> 00:37:04.223 She's git big hairy hands, 00:37:04.333 --> 00:37:06.172 big feet... 00:37:06.351 --> 00:37:09.890 she has curls all over, and a big moustache. 00:37:09.945 --> 00:37:11.510 What?! 00:37:11.646 --> 00:37:14.666 Be convincing! She must believe you. 00:37:14.823 --> 00:37:17.740 Yes I love her because she doesn't get seasick, 00:37:17.781 --> 00:37:20.406 no grease on her face, no hair-curlers 00:37:20.453 --> 00:37:22.061 no steel reinforced bra. 00:37:22.086 --> 00:37:25.168 I love the way she sings, rubbing my back for hours, 00:37:25.193 --> 00:37:28.251 telling me I'm an athlete. that I'm handsome, 00:37:28.276 --> 00:37:30.313 and that I'm 1.80 meters tall. Voila! 00:37:30.361 --> 00:37:33.354 Who is she? What's her name? 00:37:33.491 --> 00:37:36.399 What's her name? What's-her-name. 00:37:36.854 --> 00:37:38.783 - Say any name! - Yeah... 00:37:38.932 --> 00:37:40.149 Ah! 00:37:40.209 --> 00:37:43.707 - Therese Leduc. - Therese Leduc is 65 years old! 00:37:43.820 --> 00:37:46.279 Exactly. She's loved me for 30 years, 00:37:46.304 --> 00:37:49.845 has never called me on the phone and left me in peace. 00:37:50.034 --> 00:37:51.962 - Did you see that? - What? 00:37:51.987 --> 00:37:53.627 - I hung up, this time. 00:37:54.098 --> 00:37:58.662 Odile, I'm off to Orly, my husband is there. Tell my daughter to wait. 00:37:58.770 --> 00:38:01.234 Pardor Madam. Pivert wedding? 00:38:01.405 --> 00:38:03.765 Yes, put it there, lad. 00:38:31.025 --> 00:38:34.645 Sorry, sir, the doctor isn't receiving patients today. 00:38:34.746 --> 00:38:38.125 Police Commissioner Andréani. M. Pivert, please. 00:38:38.211 --> 00:38:41.105 M. Pivert isn't here. What is it about? 00:38:43.086 --> 00:38:47.620 Don't worry. Mme. Pivert went to meet her husband at Orly. 00:38:47.721 --> 00:38:50.111 She'll be back in two hours. 00:38:52.304 --> 00:38:56.486 To Orly Airport! Hurry, we gotta nab him before he flies off. 00:38:57.741 --> 00:39:00.618 - Hurry up. - One minute, Monsieur. 00:39:09.176 --> 00:39:11.217 That's 57 francs, Monsieur. 00:39:12.983 --> 00:39:15.618 Monsieur. What was your speed? 00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:17.395 What... eighty? 00:39:19.121 --> 00:39:20.611 That's 57. 00:39:21.104 --> 00:39:24.653 - Shall I check the oil? - No need, it's fine, thanks. 00:39:25.162 --> 00:39:27.058 Thank you, Monsieur. 00:39:27.429 --> 00:39:30.224 - Got your papers? - Yeah, sure. 00:39:57.738 --> 00:40:00.730 - What'd you do? - Me? Nothing. 00:40:02.787 --> 00:40:06.776 - Taking the piss out of me or my colleague? - Oh, both! 00:40:06.815 --> 00:40:09.063 No Officer, neither one. 00:40:09.123 --> 00:40:12.300 Yes, I'm taking the piss out both of you! 00:40:13.375 --> 00:40:14.987 Turn a bit. 00:40:15.073 --> 00:40:17.773 - What's that? - Where? 00:40:18.178 --> 00:40:21.519 - A wart. - A wart? Oh! 00:40:22.603 --> 00:40:26.170 - Aww, that's not nice! - I think it looks fine. 00:40:26.255 --> 00:40:29.058 Oh, no. Quite ugly... 00:40:29.602 --> 00:40:33.527 Look, two huge hairs sticking out. 00:40:33.717 --> 00:40:35.818 - Yeah? - Doesn't it hurt? 00:40:35.843 --> 00:40:37.604 - No. - It doesn't? 00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:39.477 And if I do this? 00:40:41.892 --> 00:40:45.505 That's gotta hurt, dammit, huh? 00:40:45.708 --> 00:40:48.711 What's this about? Papers, now! 00:40:48.789 --> 00:40:51.841 I always drive without them. No drivers license, 00:40:51.919 --> 00:40:55.282 no grey slip, no sticker, no insurance. Arrest me. 00:40:55.361 --> 00:40:58.208 - You'll pay dearly for that. - Arrest me. 00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:01.955 - What's your name? - Pivert. Like the woodpecker. 00:41:17.454 --> 00:41:19.060 Fill'er up? 00:41:21.623 --> 00:41:23.738 Step on it, it's Fares! 00:41:23.851 --> 00:41:25.900 That's enough. Get out. 00:41:26.250 --> 00:41:28.124 Put it in first! 00:41:33.139 --> 00:41:35.238 *Teba, teba. Hou, hou! 00:41:44.447 --> 00:41:46.488 *(expletives) 00:42:16.924 --> 00:42:21.123 Ladies and gentlemen we are arriving at Paris Orly airport. 00:42:21.218 --> 00:42:22.622 It's 11:25... 00:42:22.678 --> 00:42:26.389 Please, gentlemen sit down and fasten your seatbelts. 00:42:26.429 --> 00:42:27.997 Sit down, Samuel (ENG) 00:42:28.052 --> 00:42:31.280 - My French family is waiting for me below. - I see. 00:42:31.334 --> 00:42:33.902 - I came for the bar mitzvah. - Interesting. 00:42:33.965 --> 00:42:37.032 The communion, of my nephew, little David. 00:42:37.157 --> 00:42:39.091 He's already thirteen. 00:42:40.834 --> 00:42:42.496 Ah, Samuel. 00:42:44.836 --> 00:42:48.526 David, don't start your nonsense. Go there and be quiet! 00:42:50.359 --> 00:42:52.877 Mom, how will we recognise uncle Jacob? 00:42:52.902 --> 00:42:56.743 No one's seen him except grandma Tzipe and she can't see. 00:42:56.798 --> 00:42:58.830 Waddaya mean I can't hear?! 00:42:58.901 --> 00:43:03.331 To honor Uncle Jacod we shoulda got Solomon to drive him in his boss' car. 00:43:03.339 --> 00:43:06.044 He can't. He got canned yesterday. 00:43:06.154 --> 00:43:09.661 - What? - His boss fired him yesterday. 00:43:09.736 --> 00:43:15.154 I always said M. Piverte is a very nice man! 00:43:18.589 --> 00:43:21.890 Don't push! Why must I bring my case? 00:43:21.915 --> 00:43:25.400 - 'Cause we're both going. - No, you go do your revolution 00:43:25.407 --> 00:43:27.743 I'll go marry off my daughter. 00:43:27.782 --> 00:43:30.759 If things get ugly, you can serve as my hostage. Move! 00:43:36.738 --> 00:43:40.630 Arriving from Frankfurt, flight AF-741, 00:43:40.801 --> 00:43:42.690 gate 45. 00:43:52.539 --> 00:43:54.707 No funny faces or you're dead. 00:43:54.795 --> 00:43:57.433 - I never pull funny faces! - Stop it! 00:43:57.487 --> 00:44:00.022 - Look at him. Look! - What? 00:44:00.112 --> 00:44:01.952 The security guard. 00:44:02.170 --> 00:44:04.489 He's huge. I'm puny. 00:44:04.846 --> 00:44:07.548 That's a proper hostage! 00:44:33.189 --> 00:44:35.913 - What is it? - See that? - What? 00:44:35.958 --> 00:44:38.199 - She's a redhead. - So? 00:44:41.103 --> 00:44:42.936 Be good baby. 00:44:47.409 --> 00:44:50.281 How lovely! Cute. 00:44:50.696 --> 00:44:52.248 Whoops! 00:44:52.999 --> 00:44:55.027 What's his name? 00:45:01.956 --> 00:45:03.798 Do you have a light? 00:45:10.169 --> 00:45:12.343 Of course he has a light! 00:45:18.877 --> 00:45:20.594 Take that! 00:45:21.065 --> 00:45:23.545 You think that's funny, imbecile? 00:45:23.585 --> 00:45:25.012 Imbecile! 00:45:56.374 --> 00:45:57.815 There it is! 00:45:57.909 --> 00:46:00.601 The plane from New York just landed. 00:46:00.664 --> 00:46:02.597 Hurry, you're too slow! 00:46:02.655 --> 00:46:05.112 We have time, it won't fly away. 00:46:05.159 --> 00:46:06.719 Hurry! 00:46:08.182 --> 00:46:10.588 - David, come here. - Hurry up. 00:46:10.627 --> 00:46:12.282 Look, cheri! 00:46:12.331 --> 00:46:15.216 Look, there he is. It must be him. 00:46:15.295 --> 00:46:18.130 Jacob, uncle Jacob! 00:46:18.574 --> 00:46:21.191 Where is Jacob? I don't see him. 00:46:21.362 --> 00:46:25.077 That's the wrong direction. Look down there! 00:46:29.834 --> 00:46:31.948 Passenger Pivert... 00:46:32.871 --> 00:46:34.788 Passenger Pivert. 00:46:35.418 --> 00:46:41.059 Would M. Pivert, come to the information counter! 00:46:41.137 --> 00:46:44.532 - They're here. - Arkoum, Slimane and Pivert. 00:46:46.602 --> 00:46:50.334 Division chief! Good timing. They just paged Pivert. 00:46:50.409 --> 00:46:53.019 Block the exits and let's go! 00:46:53.083 --> 00:46:55.595 But, careful, he's a killer! 00:46:55.742 --> 00:46:58.100 Please, Mlle, try again. 00:46:58.591 --> 00:47:01.361 Would passenger Piver... 00:47:01.979 --> 00:47:05.171 Victor, come back. Victor! 00:47:08.726 --> 00:47:11.083 - Victor! - Oh my god it's Germaine! 00:47:11.108 --> 00:47:13.791 It's your wife calling. I beg you. 00:47:13.843 --> 00:47:17.527 Shut up and tell me where you are! Germaine? 00:47:19.605 --> 00:47:21.183 Germaine? 00:47:23.836 --> 00:47:25.766 I forgive you, Victor. 00:47:25.837 --> 00:47:29.840 Don't leave with Thérèse Leduc on your daughter's wedding day. 00:47:29.917 --> 00:47:31.839 Victor, do you hear me? 00:47:32.229 --> 00:47:34.009 Victor, do you hear me? 00:47:34.089 --> 00:47:38.380 Yes, I hear you. Not so loud, I'm coming. 00:47:38.786 --> 00:47:40.462 My microph...! 00:47:40.542 --> 00:47:45.528 Your husband's not leaving YOU for Therese Leduc. Gimme that! 00:47:51.012 --> 00:47:53.291 - Germaine. - Victor! 00:47:53.405 --> 00:47:56.824 - Victor! - Gimme the mike, I have an announcement. 00:47:56.886 --> 00:48:00.819 I have one too. And more important than yours. 00:48:20.111 --> 00:48:22.911 Oh, it's you! I thought it was a 'maramouche'. 00:48:22.943 --> 00:48:25.191 - Is Fares here? - Yeah, he wants to... 00:48:25.238 --> 00:48:29.476 - C'mon! - Wait, let me look first. 00:48:50.200 --> 00:48:52.340 - Open up! - No! 00:48:56.245 --> 00:48:59.476 - Open! - There's no one here. 00:49:00.593 --> 00:49:04.012 - Open, I say! - I can't, it's occupied. 00:49:04.919 --> 00:49:07.418 - Open. - Hear that? 00:49:09.398 --> 00:49:12.721 Sir, is your friend sick? 00:49:13.442 --> 00:49:15.381 Can we help? 00:49:17.463 --> 00:49:19.667 It seems, you can. 00:49:44.555 --> 00:49:47.117 Lowlife! Get out! 00:51:05.879 --> 00:51:09.040 Me, as a rabbi. It's really the limit! 00:51:10.003 --> 00:51:11.865 Wait. 00:51:24.430 --> 00:51:25.958 Jacob! 00:51:26.739 --> 00:51:28.346 Jacob! 00:51:30.563 --> 00:51:32.232 It is him! 00:51:33.263 --> 00:51:34.754 Jacob! 00:51:38.054 --> 00:51:39.599 Uncle Jacob! 00:51:40.815 --> 00:51:42.103 Uncle Jacob! 00:51:42.173 --> 00:51:44.263 Dear, let me shalom him too. 00:51:44.365 --> 00:51:46.310 - Shalom. - Shalom. 00:51:46.450 --> 00:51:50.665 - SHALOM! (What now?) - (Play along. It is our only chance) 00:51:50.783 --> 00:51:53.511 I'd recognise him among thousands. 00:51:53.536 --> 00:51:57.221 Spitting image of his brother, my husband, bless his soul. 00:51:57.291 --> 00:52:01.330 - Is he also a Schmoll? - A schmoll? 00:52:01.413 --> 00:52:03.297 Yes, who is he, uncle? 00:52:03.351 --> 00:52:04.679 Yes, he's right. 00:52:04.704 --> 00:52:08.608 He asked who he is and deserves an answer. 00:52:08.647 --> 00:52:10.278 You asked about him? 00:52:10.333 --> 00:52:13.393 He's my secretary, chauffeur and porter. 00:52:13.476 --> 00:52:15.051 Take my suitcase. 00:52:15.204 --> 00:52:18.435 - What's his name? - Him, up there? 00:52:18.481 --> 00:52:23.312 His name is Larbi Rabbi mm... Slimann. With 'mann' on the end. 00:52:23.383 --> 00:52:25.224 Seligmann! 00:52:25.313 --> 00:52:29.283 - Rabbi Seligmann. Enchantee. - Madame. 00:52:29.370 --> 00:52:30.945 Come, Jacob, 00:52:30.985 --> 00:52:33.544 Tell me, how are they all in New York? *Sag mir wie geht es alles in New York? 00:52:33.653 --> 00:52:36.306 And what's the whole family doing? Und was macht die ganze mischpokhe? 00:52:36.331 --> 00:52:38.277 - Geht, geht? - Geht, geht! 00:52:38.302 --> 00:52:40.177 - Ja, ja? - Ja, ja!* 00:52:41.987 --> 00:52:44.127 Why don't you have a beard? 00:52:44.180 --> 00:52:47.380 I lent it to someone who didn't have one. 00:52:47.554 --> 00:52:52.572 That Seligman is not just anybody. A rabbi who is a chauffeur! 00:52:52.769 --> 00:52:56.818 Jacob, you have a funny accent in French. 00:52:56.982 --> 00:52:58.725 - You think? - Yes, yes. 00:52:58.779 --> 00:53:01.145 You've become a real American. 00:53:01.205 --> 00:53:05.325 - You want I should teach you good French? - Yes, yes, yes. 00:53:05.416 --> 00:53:10.807 I know a good exercise. Pronounce the names of fuhz. 00:53:10.909 --> 00:53:12.274 Fuzz? 00:53:12.329 --> 00:53:16.046 - Coats made from fuhz. - Ah, furs! 00:53:16.107 --> 00:53:18.171 - Try. - Yes. 00:53:25.626 --> 00:53:27.842 Mink. 00:53:29.387 --> 00:53:32.089 Chinchilla. 00:53:32.189 --> 00:53:34.272 Musket rats. 00:53:38.588 --> 00:53:41.327 - The fox. - Fox? 00:53:41.492 --> 00:53:43.685 The silver fox. 00:53:43.786 --> 00:53:47.220 - The panther. - The painter. 00:53:47.889 --> 00:53:50.863 No, no, no, panther... the animal. 00:53:50.955 --> 00:53:53.009 Panther. Dit, dit, dit... 00:53:53.104 --> 00:53:54.758 Grrr! 00:53:56.032 --> 00:53:57.866 Very good, Jacob! 00:53:58.646 --> 00:54:01.530 - Madame Pivert? - That's me. 00:54:02.077 --> 00:54:05.648 Police. Your husband is waiting in his car. 00:54:05.727 --> 00:54:07.419 My Victor! 00:54:07.493 --> 00:54:11.249 I knew, at the last minute, he'd change his mind. 00:54:11.274 --> 00:54:13.781 But, police?! Why? 00:54:14.503 --> 00:54:18.975 - M. Pivert is in a real mess. - Therese Leduc, I knew it! 00:54:19.178 --> 00:54:21.074 C'mon, let's go! 00:54:30.014 --> 00:54:32.447 Where's Victor? Hey, let go of me! 00:54:32.542 --> 00:54:35.141 - Get in! - It's an ambush! 00:54:36.445 --> 00:54:38.084 Officer! 00:54:39.122 --> 00:54:41.971 Mme Pivert, which way did she go? 00:54:42.049 --> 00:54:44.888 I dunno! That way, or the other way. 00:54:44.931 --> 00:54:48.106 - I can't watch everybody! - Exactly, watch everybody! 00:54:48.116 --> 00:54:49.979 - Commissioner! - Yeah! 00:54:50.026 --> 00:54:53.944 We found two rabbis, tied and gagged, in the toilets. 00:54:54.029 --> 00:54:57.102 - Two rabbis? - They stole their clothes and shaved them. 00:54:57.134 --> 00:54:59.851 - Who did it? - A big guy with black hair. 00:54:59.897 --> 00:55:03.262 - And a short bald guy, with blue eyes. - Pivert, again! 00:55:03.331 --> 00:55:06.374 - It might be... - Slimane? Sure! Hurry! 00:55:16.643 --> 00:55:20.280 Excuse me, this is a celebrity. Excuse me. 00:55:20.460 --> 00:55:23.500 Get in, uncle Jacob. I'll buy the tickets. 00:55:25.233 --> 00:55:26.777 Go ahead. 00:55:31.478 --> 00:55:33.147 You're very kind. 00:55:33.208 --> 00:55:34.582 And... 00:55:34.607 --> 00:55:38.704 you're the best looking Jew I've seen, in a long time. 00:55:38.729 --> 00:55:41.038 Pretty eyes, lovely teeth! 00:55:41.070 --> 00:55:44.581 Come, let me kiss you. You're so cute! 00:55:46.272 --> 00:55:49.972 - You too, Mme Schmoll, must've been a knock-out. - Ahh! 00:55:50.028 --> 00:55:52.687 Do you know how many marriages I arranged 00:55:52.712 --> 00:55:55.168 on Rue des Rosiers?... 43! 00:55:55.262 --> 00:55:57.026 118 children. 00:55:57.115 --> 00:55:59.500 2 ½ children per couple. 00:55:59.975 --> 00:56:02.624 - Are you married? - No. 00:56:02.765 --> 00:56:06.933 What do you like in a girlfriend, blondes, brunettes? 00:56:07.152 --> 00:56:09.297 - Redheads. - I have! 00:56:09.406 --> 00:56:13.462 30 years away from Paris, and nobody comes to meet me! 00:56:13.538 --> 00:56:18.417 - Maybe they didn't get your telegram. - 8 telegrams, I sent. Eight! 00:56:18.893 --> 00:56:21.723 They must have got one! 00:56:25.798 --> 00:56:28.537 - You see the violin case? - Yes Chief. 00:56:28.623 --> 00:56:31.456 And what's inside a violin case? 00:56:31.847 --> 00:56:33.531 Um... ♪ La-la, la-la... 00:56:33.626 --> 00:56:36.898 No, imbecile! A... t-t-t-t... 00:56:38.075 --> 00:56:40.718 Cover me. I'm going in. 00:56:44.046 --> 00:56:47.098 Hmm... The address is '8 Rue des Rosiers'. 00:56:47.176 --> 00:56:50.430 Now, I need to find the phone number. 00:56:53.675 --> 00:56:55.712 My respects, Grand Rabbi. 00:56:55.784 --> 00:56:59.418 Ah, Samuel, I told you they'd come get us? 00:56:59.468 --> 00:57:01.644 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 00:57:01.692 --> 00:57:04.969 - The Police! - A great honour! 00:57:05.031 --> 00:57:08.933 It's not every day I meet two, such sought after, rabbis. 00:57:08.997 --> 00:57:12.484 Bless you my son. May the Eternal be with you. 00:57:12.562 --> 00:57:14.535 Don't touch my violin. 00:57:14.615 --> 00:57:18.366 - Don't take me for a fool, Pivert. - Piverte?! 00:57:18.603 --> 00:57:19.984 Say... 00:57:20.063 --> 00:57:24.114 that's some patriarchal beard you glued on! 00:57:25.373 --> 00:57:27.154 - May I touch it? - Oi! 00:57:27.407 --> 00:57:29.148 Oi! 00:57:29.629 --> 00:57:31.236 Excuse me, sir... 00:57:44.232 --> 00:57:45.876 - Solomon! - Yeah? 00:57:45.916 --> 00:57:49.088 - Telephone, in your room! - Coming! 00:57:54.502 --> 00:57:55.915 Hello. 00:57:56.134 --> 00:57:57.570 Who? 00:57:57.984 --> 00:57:59.724 Uncle Jacob? 00:58:00.169 --> 00:58:03.265 No, it's Solomon. Did you have a good voyage? 00:58:03.311 --> 00:58:07.004 No, I did not have a good voyage. I had a very bad voyage! 00:58:07.058 --> 00:58:09.080 - Where are you? - At Orly! 00:58:09.142 --> 00:58:11.122 30 years I haven't been to Paris 00:58:11.147 --> 00:58:12.960 and the police picks up! 00:58:12.999 --> 00:58:14.829 It's all in order, Chief. 00:58:14.878 --> 00:58:17.947 - Excuse us, it's an error. - Thanks. 00:58:18.058 --> 00:58:20.156 What's with you people?! 00:58:20.196 --> 00:58:24.252 Uncle Jacob, I don't understand. There must be an error. 00:58:28.758 --> 00:58:33.017 It's Rabbi Jacob in the taxi. Come down Solomon! 00:58:37.070 --> 00:58:38.779 What the? 00:58:39.434 --> 00:58:43.025 Listen, you on the phone, stop being a jerk! 00:58:43.118 --> 00:58:46.311 - Jerk? - Today, of all days, really! 00:58:46.405 --> 00:58:47.912 Imbecile! 00:58:49.083 --> 00:58:50.925 Long live Rabbi Jacob! 00:58:50.988 --> 00:58:53.187 Solomon's 'gone crazy'! *is geworden meshugge 00:58:53.219 --> 00:58:56.147 - 'Totally crazy', Rabbi. - Jerk. *Ganz meshugge 00:58:56.456 --> 00:58:59.486 Shalom, uncle Jacob, shalom! 00:59:03.311 --> 00:59:06.116 You should bless them, uncle Jacob. 00:59:08.012 --> 00:59:10.509 That's why they came, you know. 00:59:10.678 --> 00:59:13.941 Such modesty. He's a modist! 00:59:16.625 --> 00:59:18.275 Stand up, uncle Jacob. 00:59:18.300 --> 00:59:20.849 They wanna welcome you. Go on. 00:59:21.019 --> 00:59:23.684 Stick your head outside. 01:00:01.135 --> 01:00:04.299 Not like that. Do you think you're in Rome?! 01:00:07.629 --> 01:00:09.159 It's all your fault. 01:00:09.209 --> 01:00:12.320 Wait till I tell them who you are. You'll see! 01:00:16.476 --> 01:00:19.385 Silence! Quiet! 01:00:20.158 --> 01:00:22.707 Silence. Quiet! 01:00:23.913 --> 01:00:26.689 We welcome you, Rabbi Jacob, 01:00:26.744 --> 01:00:29.043 venerable teacher, 01:00:29.358 --> 01:00:31.473 well of knowledge, 01:00:31.715 --> 01:00:33.917 celestial luminary. 01:00:34.019 --> 01:00:37.142 Hear that? Now, that's good! Very good! 01:00:41.282 --> 01:00:46.926 As a souvenir of this day, accept this modest 'Shtreimel'. 01:00:56.481 --> 01:00:59.372 Oh, lovely Shtreimel! 01:00:59.986 --> 01:01:03.659 It's mink. I'll wear it every Sunday. 01:01:08.920 --> 01:01:10.856 Saturday, not Sunday! 01:01:11.004 --> 01:01:14.203 He said Sunday, but it's not. It's Saturday. 01:01:17.828 --> 01:01:20.244 Silence. Silence. 01:01:21.621 --> 01:01:25.045 Rabbi Jacob will speak now. 01:01:26.794 --> 01:01:28.753 Go on, say something. 01:01:30.984 --> 01:01:32.529 Ah. 01:01:39.072 --> 01:01:40.980 My dear Rosenfelds. 01:01:46.583 --> 01:01:50.633 [PORK PRODUCTS - ROZENBERG] My dear Rozenbergs. 01:01:53.200 --> 01:01:56.608 [BEEF BUTCHER - KOSHER] My dear Koshers. 01:01:59.281 --> 01:02:00.946 Not that. 01:02:05.499 --> 01:02:08.541 How about that? My dear Levi's. 01:02:13.894 --> 01:02:15.877 Dear Levi's. 01:02:16.994 --> 01:02:19.036 Keep the rest. 01:02:19.782 --> 01:02:24.143 Uncle Jacob, a thousand excuses. You must get off. 01:02:24.175 --> 01:02:28.061 - The taxi has to leave. - Yes, yes. - He's getting out. 01:02:28.115 --> 01:02:30.822 - What if they ask me stuff? - Do as they do. 01:02:30.857 --> 01:02:33.296 Ask a Jew anything, he always answers 01:02:33.335 --> 01:02:36.291 with another question, to buy time to think. 01:02:36.386 --> 01:02:37.940 Oh, yeah? 01:02:49.723 --> 01:02:51.540 Monsieur! 01:03:00.725 --> 01:03:04.553 - Jacob, do you recognise me? - And do you recognise me? 01:03:04.630 --> 01:03:06.496 - No. - Good! 01:03:08.540 --> 01:03:11.269 We have a thousand questions for you. 01:03:11.325 --> 01:03:13.499 Well I have two thousand. 01:03:13.555 --> 01:03:16.005 - Rabbi Jacob! - Yes. 01:03:17.563 --> 01:03:19.871 My driver. He recognises me. 01:03:19.896 --> 01:03:22.614 I only have one question. 01:03:23.118 --> 01:03:26.680 My boss fired me for refusing to work Saturdays. 01:03:26.798 --> 01:03:28.952 What would you do in my place? 01:03:29.014 --> 01:03:32.471 Ask him to take you back. He'll say yes! 01:03:32.628 --> 01:03:36.194 Ask for a raise. He'll say yes! 01:03:36.302 --> 01:03:39.113 - Double my pay? - He'll say yes! 01:03:39.194 --> 01:03:41.962 - Triple? - He... He'll say no. 01:03:46.481 --> 01:03:49.356 'Monsieur' didn't tell me he was Jewish. 01:03:49.428 --> 01:03:52.101 Yesterday I wasn't, that's why. 01:03:53.517 --> 01:03:57.240 I beg you Solomon don't tell. The police, the 'maramouches'. 01:03:57.281 --> 01:04:00.212 - Everyone wants my hide. - What has 'Monsieur' done? 01:04:00.237 --> 01:04:02.231 Nothing Solomon I'm innocent. 01:04:02.260 --> 01:04:05.298 They need a scapegoat. And I'm the goat. 01:04:05.423 --> 01:04:06.953 Ba-ah-a... 01:04:07.023 --> 01:04:09.050 Hide me, and I'll re-hire you. 01:04:09.112 --> 01:04:12.517 I'll give you all the holidays Jewish, Catholic and Protestant! 01:04:12.542 --> 01:04:15.567 Plus every Sabbath and Sunday. 01:04:15.619 --> 01:04:17.953 And the Muslim holidays? 01:04:18.881 --> 01:04:21.656 Eh? Do Muslims have holidays? 01:04:21.768 --> 01:04:25.198 What about him, Mohammed Larbi Slimane? 01:04:25.661 --> 01:04:28.642 - Why's he here? - Who? 01:04:28.821 --> 01:04:32.038 Rabbi Seligmann, 01:04:32.480 --> 01:04:35.150 - It's done, I found one. - What? 01:04:35.175 --> 01:04:37.017 - A real redhead. - Ahh! 01:04:37.180 --> 01:04:38.561 Look. 01:04:40.460 --> 01:04:42.940 She's called Hannah. 01:04:43.013 --> 01:04:44.936 Say hello. 01:04:51.372 --> 01:04:55.212 Mameh, it's fine. They're all ready. 01:04:56.200 --> 01:05:00.451 Silence, silence! 01:05:01.387 --> 01:05:05.054 Rabbi Jacob will dance! 01:05:05.683 --> 01:05:08.688 - No, no. - Rabbi Jacob's a good dancer! 01:05:34.528 --> 01:05:36.589 Hoi! Hoi! 01:07:14.681 --> 01:07:16.742 Ah, Monsieur has a real gift! 01:07:16.795 --> 01:07:19.605 It was a miracle, Solomon. A miracle! 01:07:21.854 --> 01:07:23.618 Bravo! 01:07:27.610 --> 01:07:31.050 You went to Orly, because you knew Pivert was there! 01:07:31.107 --> 01:07:33.502 I thought he was leaving with Therese Leduc. 01:07:33.555 --> 01:07:36.163 - On his daughter's wedding day? - Drill ! 01:07:36.227 --> 01:07:39.203 No, not the drill, I can't stand it! 01:07:44.305 --> 01:07:45.992 He's with Slimane. 01:07:46.054 --> 01:07:47.779 Where are they? 01:07:51.714 --> 01:07:53.413 Hello. Hello! 01:07:53.468 --> 01:07:57.728 Is this 749-28-27? Hello. Who's speaking? 01:07:57.842 --> 01:07:59.916 Answer. But watch it! 01:08:00.160 --> 01:08:03.990 - Germaine? It's me, Victor. - Ah Victor, it's you. 01:08:04.434 --> 01:08:06.432 - Ask where he is. - No! 01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:08.593 Hello? Hello? Hello! 01:08:09.753 --> 01:08:12.316 Germaine turn off the drill, dammit! 01:08:12.347 --> 01:08:14.195 Can you hear me, or not? 01:08:14.301 --> 01:08:15.802 Where are you, cheri? 01:08:15.834 --> 01:08:18.428 Hiding with some Jewish friends. 01:08:18.492 --> 01:08:20.605 You have Jewish friends? You?! 01:08:20.687 --> 01:08:24.304 'Course I have Jewish fr... What do you mean by that? 01:08:24.351 --> 01:08:27.130 Say the police is here and let me speak to him. 01:08:27.177 --> 01:08:30.593 The police is here. They wanna speak to you. 01:08:30.923 --> 01:08:34.289 Hello, M. Pivert, I'm the Commissioner. 01:08:34.403 --> 01:08:36.938 I recognize your voice, Commissioner. 01:08:36.993 --> 01:08:39.084 I'm so happy to hear you! 01:08:39.133 --> 01:08:42.518 Same here. Where are you M. Pivert? 01:08:42.690 --> 01:08:44.691 Listen, I know the killers. 01:08:44.764 --> 01:08:47.605 You can nab the whole smalah*. (tribe) 01:08:47.655 --> 01:08:50.673 - Their leader is called Fares. - Oh, yeah? 01:08:51.255 --> 01:08:53.462 I'll give you his description. 01:08:53.550 --> 01:08:55.837 Fat, greasy, curly hair, 01:08:55.907 --> 01:08:59.372 small cruel eyes piercing through dark glasses. 01:08:59.747 --> 01:09:02.423 - A true killer's face. - Voila! 01:09:02.731 --> 01:09:05.404 I am at "Etoile de Kiev". 01:09:07.176 --> 01:09:10.787 It's a restaurant, a delikatessen, 01:09:10.865 --> 01:09:13.762 Rue des Rosiers number eight... 01:09:13.832 --> 01:09:15.308 Oight, oight! 01:09:15.456 --> 01:09:18.322 - Shalom, Rabbi. - Shalom, my son. - Shalom. 01:09:18.367 --> 01:09:20.615 Shalom, not you, him. 01:09:20.849 --> 01:09:22.493 OK... 01:09:22.561 --> 01:09:25.469 OK, you ask for Rabbi Jacob. 01:09:25.548 --> 01:09:28.144 And Rabbi Jacob, is me. 01:09:28.199 --> 01:09:30.610 Is Slimane with you? 01:09:32.334 --> 01:09:33.810 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:09:33.857 --> 01:09:37.408 They're marrying him off to a redhead, outside. 01:09:37.512 --> 01:09:41.036 - Don't move M. Pivert, we're coming. - Yes! 01:09:41.092 --> 01:09:42.630 Jacob! 01:09:42.817 --> 01:09:46.704 - Jacob! Have you heard the news? - No. 01:09:46.813 --> 01:09:48.827 Hannah's engaged. 01:09:48.871 --> 01:09:52.896 - If Rabbi Jacob gives his blessing. - Pfft! 01:09:53.201 --> 01:09:55.612 What a cute goil! 01:09:59.733 --> 01:10:03.642 So, are you happy? Look at her. Tiddly-diggety-dee! 01:10:03.764 --> 01:10:06.280 And you... Mmmmm! 01:10:07.320 --> 01:10:09.737 Rabbi Jacob says YES! 01:10:11.300 --> 01:10:14.040 Voila. He's so happy. 01:10:18.746 --> 01:10:22.093 Today of all days, to pull THIS on me! 01:10:31.210 --> 01:10:33.430 Papa's disappeared. 01:10:36.005 --> 01:10:37.667 Mama! 01:11:00.854 --> 01:11:02.582 Antoinette! 01:11:03.516 --> 01:11:05.970 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 01:11:36.342 --> 01:11:37.822 I can't do it. 01:11:37.908 --> 01:11:40.679 - Are you Rabbi Jacob or not? - Yes, but not here! 01:11:40.745 --> 01:11:44.079 - Play along, I beg you. - You're safe with us. 01:11:44.104 --> 01:11:45.790 - Uncle Jacob? - Yes. 01:11:45.815 --> 01:11:47.501 - We cleared the way. 01:11:52.173 --> 01:11:55.336 - What should we do? - Do like everyone else. 01:11:55.399 --> 01:12:00.116 - How does a Jewish Communion work? - It works out alright. 01:12:05.286 --> 01:12:09.251 As soon as my wife gets here, I'm off to church! 01:12:19.662 --> 01:12:22.051 Bless me, uncle Jacob. 01:12:27.919 --> 01:12:30.127 I bless you, David. 01:12:36.147 --> 01:12:38.856 You too, Rabbi Seligmann. 01:12:43.294 --> 01:12:45.871 God be with you, David. 01:12:45.879 --> 01:12:49.837 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 01:12:53.462 --> 01:12:55.211 - Pssst! - Amen! 01:12:56.282 --> 01:12:59.778 - Pssst! Hey. - What is it? 01:12:59.903 --> 01:13:04.919 Rabbi Jacob's wanted on the phone. It's urgent. From Madame Pivert. 01:13:05.935 --> 01:13:07.740 I'm coming. 01:13:18.667 --> 01:13:21.312 Amen! 01:13:22.581 --> 01:13:24.569 Did you hear? They say amen. 01:13:24.647 --> 01:13:26.955 Great! Same as us. 01:13:27.119 --> 01:13:29.370 I beg you Solomon, warn Monsieur! 01:13:29.421 --> 01:13:31.876 There are 3. Their boss is called Fares. 01:13:31.911 --> 01:13:34.236 Three killers? Here? 01:13:37.456 --> 01:13:41.229 They want to assassinate him. Hurry they're on their way! 01:13:41.276 --> 01:13:43.712 No, Madame, they're here. 01:13:55.454 --> 01:13:58.287 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 01:14:06.588 --> 01:14:08.846 Mazel tov, my son. 01:14:21.487 --> 01:14:25.550 *♪ Ya mod, Rabbi Jacob. 01:14:28.492 --> 01:14:30.520 - What's he saying? - Eh? 01:14:30.545 --> 01:14:32.082 - What's he saying? 01:14:32.904 --> 01:14:37.550 He says, without imposing, uncle Jacob, it's your turn to read the Torah. 01:14:37.611 --> 01:14:39.859 I can't, it's too great an honour. 01:14:39.946 --> 01:14:42.856 I'm even more overcome than you. 01:14:42.962 --> 01:14:44.820 - You too, Rabbi Seligman. - No. 01:14:44.845 --> 01:14:45.455 - Yes! 01:14:45.537 --> 01:14:48.498 What an honour for my family and me! 01:14:49.415 --> 01:14:51.511 Please, Rabbi Jacob. 01:15:17.959 --> 01:15:19.616 It's Hebrew. 01:15:19.662 --> 01:15:22.578 Read from right to left, like Arabic. 01:15:23.612 --> 01:15:27.231 I'll give the honour to Rabbi Seligmann. 01:15:27.418 --> 01:15:29.807 He'll read in Hebrew. 01:15:29.995 --> 01:15:33.373 The glasses. And the hand. 01:15:33.787 --> 01:15:37.458 There... You read it from right to left. 01:15:40.816 --> 01:15:44.230 - Think they're in there, Chief? - It's possible. 01:15:44.386 --> 01:15:49.257 Careful, it's like a church. So... tact and delicacy! 01:15:52.915 --> 01:15:54.802 Your hats. 01:16:02.870 --> 01:16:04.748 Fares is in the synagogue. 01:16:04.810 --> 01:16:07.302 - Fares? - Leave it to me. 01:16:15.159 --> 01:16:17.480 - Hats. - Hats. 01:16:18.247 --> 01:16:20.122 Hats! 01:16:22.491 --> 01:16:25.651 Silence. Silence! 01:16:27.235 --> 01:16:29.133 *Brothers... [HEBREW] 01:16:29.241 --> 01:16:32.676 The three men that have just come in 01:16:32.776 --> 01:16:36.982 are not here to pray. They're assassins! 01:16:37.221 --> 01:16:39.745 - Assassins? - Assassins? 01:16:40.457 --> 01:16:45.123 *They want to kill Rabbi Jacob and Rabbi Seligmann. 01:16:45.286 --> 01:16:50.298 Help me save them. 01:16:58.177 --> 01:17:02.137 What are you doing? let me be. 01:17:18.806 --> 01:17:22.036 Solomon! Quickly, Solomon. 01:17:23.543 --> 01:17:25.229 That way. 01:17:27.433 --> 01:17:30.523 Wait in the "Etoile de Kiev". I'll get my moped. 01:17:30.563 --> 01:17:32.834 How did Fares know we were here? 01:17:32.859 --> 01:17:38.150 - Monsieur blabbed to him on the phone. - I told the Commissioner. - That WAS Fares. 01:17:38.202 --> 01:17:41.863 What? That was Fares? Unbelievable! 01:17:57.715 --> 01:18:01.811 Thirty years, Samuel, and nothing changed! 01:18:05.915 --> 01:18:10.625 There's the synagogue. And this is the Etoile de Kiev. 01:18:13.364 --> 01:18:16.002 Hey, what's going on? Lemme go! 01:18:16.056 --> 01:18:17.711 Open it. Get in! 01:18:22.052 --> 01:18:23.850 Step on it! 01:18:26.220 --> 01:18:29.151 Monsieur, come quick. 01:18:29.742 --> 01:18:32.493 Hop on, and get away, quick! 01:18:32.611 --> 01:18:34.570 Hurry, get on! 01:18:36.514 --> 01:18:39.283 - Get on. Go! - Goddammit! 01:18:39.353 --> 01:18:41.510 - You saved my life, Solomon. - Ok, OK! 01:18:41.535 --> 01:18:42.968 - You'd have done the same 01:18:43.038 --> 01:18:46.697 I say! Solomon, Slimane. Slimane, Solomon. 01:18:47.221 --> 01:18:49.416 Could you guys be cousins? 01:18:49.609 --> 01:18:52.395 - Cousins? - Estranged... 01:18:52.892 --> 01:18:54.587 Thanks. 01:18:54.760 --> 01:18:59.061 Save it for later. Go! To St. Louis des Invalides Church. 01:19:18.565 --> 01:19:21.940 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 01:19:26.268 --> 01:19:29.062 Mama, there's the Etoile de Kiev. 01:19:29.125 --> 01:19:33.571 Commissioner, we took you for killers. It's a misunderstanding. 01:19:33.610 --> 01:19:35.198 He misunderstood! 01:19:35.235 --> 01:19:38.355 - This misunderstanding will cost you dearly. - Sami! 01:19:38.396 --> 01:19:40.176 Cossaks! 01:19:40.831 --> 01:19:44.071 Leave my Sami alone or I'll call the police! 01:19:44.135 --> 01:19:47.746 This is the police, mameh. These men are the police 01:19:48.276 --> 01:19:50.901 There's Solomon, mom. 01:19:53.932 --> 01:19:56.430 - Solomon! - Madame? 01:19:58.321 --> 01:20:00.858 What've you done with my husband? 01:20:00.905 --> 01:20:03.725 - Don't worry, Sir is safe. - Where is he? 01:20:03.750 --> 01:20:07.750 I lent him my moped and he went to your wedding. 01:20:41.004 --> 01:20:43.145 I can't breathe. 01:20:45.243 --> 01:20:47.952 Police! *... 01:20:50.114 --> 01:20:52.664 Take off your beard, Pivert. 01:20:52.769 --> 01:20:56.550 Again, with the Piverte?! What is this Piverte? 01:20:59.266 --> 01:21:01.181 Waddaya tryinna do? 01:21:01.275 --> 01:21:07.159 - That's not Slimane! * - Fi, rai! Eenhoil 01:21:07.228 --> 01:21:09.312 And I'm not Piverte! 01:21:09.563 --> 01:21:11.365 Hurry, hurry! 01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:18.016 My boat, my car! There, they stole it. 01:21:18.249 --> 01:21:20.224 Thief! Thief! 01:21:20.290 --> 01:21:22.862 - Don't shout like that. - Move it! 01:21:29.925 --> 01:21:32.773 - Faster. Faster. - I can't! 01:21:32.882 --> 01:21:34.983 - Go! - Aahh, my hat! 01:21:35.039 --> 01:21:36.614 That way! 01:21:37.058 --> 01:21:39.821 - There! - Careful, my hat! 01:21:40.039 --> 01:21:42.247 My hat, I can't see! 01:21:52.054 --> 01:21:54.205 Quick, this way! 01:22:03.471 --> 01:22:05.670 Thief! Stop! 01:22:12.351 --> 01:22:13.976 Thief! 01:22:14.526 --> 01:22:16.746 Oh, no, it's not me. 01:22:19.494 --> 01:22:21.831 Not the moustache. Not the moustache. 01:22:34.919 --> 01:22:38.139 - You're the Pivert?! - Rabbi Jacob! 01:22:47.089 --> 01:22:51.631 Hello, Citroen DS, license 438ZA75, 01:22:51.779 --> 01:22:54.675 carrying the boat Germaine II, 01:22:54.772 --> 01:22:58.032 is heading towards Place de la Concorde. 01:23:12.237 --> 01:23:15.068 Spare their lives, Fares. They won't talk. 01:23:15.117 --> 01:23:18.481 No, I won't talk. Not a word. I forgot everything. 01:23:18.527 --> 01:23:21.750 I don't even know your name, M. Fares. 01:23:24.309 --> 01:23:26.955 Don't shoot! I have an idea. 01:23:27.263 --> 01:23:29.787 Instead of shooting me in the car, 01:23:29.812 --> 01:23:32.623 you let me go to my daughters wedding. 01:23:32.684 --> 01:23:36.179 And tomorrow, you send me a letter-bomb. 01:23:36.730 --> 01:23:38.660 So, I'm at home... 01:23:38.933 --> 01:23:41.243 The doorbell rings. Drrring! 01:23:41.454 --> 01:23:43.046 Drrring! 01:23:47.883 --> 01:23:50.010 - Who is it? - I open... 01:23:52.441 --> 01:23:54.512 A letter bomb! 01:23:56.536 --> 01:23:58.168 And for whom? 01:23:58.261 --> 01:24:01.334 - For you, not me. - You're a pain in the a...! 01:24:01.364 --> 01:24:04.131 - So, I open it. - NO, don't! YES! No! 01:24:04.216 --> 01:24:06.670 I open it and paf! 01:24:07.583 --> 01:24:12.325 No more Pivert, no more Jacob, no more Fares! Waddaya gonna do? 01:24:14.090 --> 01:24:15.439 That's for me. 01:24:15.489 --> 01:24:17.141 For me! Leggo! 01:24:18.320 --> 01:24:20.489 Hello... *... 01:24:20.558 --> 01:24:21.925 Hello! 01:24:21.963 --> 01:24:24.711 Hello, is this M. Pivert's car? 01:24:24.779 --> 01:24:27.505 Is president Slimane with you? 01:24:28.747 --> 01:24:30.745 President Slimane?! 01:24:31.877 --> 01:24:35.043 The Minister wants to speak with him. 01:24:36.660 --> 01:24:39.198 It is for you. The Minister. 01:24:40.289 --> 01:24:42.179 Ahh! Gimme! 01:24:42.365 --> 01:24:44.316 - Hello. - Hello. 01:24:44.582 --> 01:24:47.321 - Mr. President? - Slimane speaking. 01:24:47.415 --> 01:24:49.227 The Revolutionary Council 01:24:49.252 --> 01:24:52.731 which took power in your country at 13:00 GMT, 01:24:52.801 --> 01:24:55.257 wishes you to return, urgently. 01:24:55.785 --> 01:24:59.243 - Should I mention petroleum? - It'd be inappropriate. 01:24:59.289 --> 01:25:02.198 A Concorde! We could fix him up with one. 01:25:02.278 --> 01:25:05.351 - Not so fast, you'll spoil everything. - OK. 01:25:05.489 --> 01:25:07.544 There's the Alouette 'copters. 01:25:07.608 --> 01:25:09.873 I'll slip in a cagey allusion. 01:25:11.407 --> 01:25:14.536 We'll come pick you up, in our Alouette Chopper. 01:25:14.575 --> 01:25:15.980 Latest model. 01:25:16.027 --> 01:25:17.627 I did it, I did it! 01:25:17.670 --> 01:25:20.416 We did it, and they lost! 01:25:22.411 --> 01:25:25.995 You appreciate, Mr. President... 01:25:26.282 --> 01:25:28.257 that I saved your life. 01:25:28.333 --> 01:25:30.387 They wanted to, 'taga-daga-da!' 01:25:30.427 --> 01:25:32.745 *Arkhoum Fares, my President. 01:25:33.050 --> 01:25:36.201 - No more *Arkhoum! - Pardon. 01:25:36.257 --> 01:25:38.810 Shouldn't have bet on the wrong camel. 01:25:38.835 --> 01:25:41.134 Sabres... up! 01:25:53.135 --> 01:25:55.474 See that, Mr. President? 01:26:02.542 --> 01:26:04.787 That's France! Clip-clop... 01:26:05.527 --> 01:26:07.144 France! 01:26:33.653 --> 01:26:35.178 That's it! It's over. 01:26:35.313 --> 01:26:38.178 It's 2 o' clock, I can't wait any longer. 01:26:38.294 --> 01:26:40.949 Remove the plants and flower bouquets. 01:26:40.974 --> 01:26:43.576 But Reverend! A little more patience. 01:26:43.615 --> 01:26:47.210 I phoned and no one's home, they're surely on their way. 01:26:47.271 --> 01:26:50.955 - I'm sorry, I have a funeral. - At least, he'll be on time! 01:26:50.998 --> 01:26:53.088 - Alexandre. - Yes, papa. 01:26:53.127 --> 01:26:55.319 The Marquise is leaving. 01:26:55.599 --> 01:26:58.814 - Stay a little longer, dear Madame? - Any minute, now. 01:26:58.850 --> 01:27:03.342 Ah, no, I've been standing for 2 hours, so good bye. Home! 01:27:03.888 --> 01:27:06.642 Alexander, you sure it wasn't Notre Dame? 01:27:06.706 --> 01:27:08.623 Will we get lunch anyway? 01:27:08.649 --> 01:27:11.178 - Better luck next time. - Piss off! 01:27:11.334 --> 01:27:13.533 Papa, mama, what now? 01:27:14.244 --> 01:27:17.506 - Two hours late. Two! - What'll people think? 01:27:17.550 --> 01:27:19.987 Pivert is a useless ass! 01:27:27.205 --> 01:27:29.143 What's that? 01:27:35.377 --> 01:27:36.962 Mama, what is that? 01:27:37.017 --> 01:27:39.038 'TEN... HUTT! 01:27:55.946 --> 01:27:58.527 Here I am. Allez, allez! 01:28:01.352 --> 01:28:03.740 General, here I am! Here! 01:28:03.911 --> 01:28:05.560 Pivert! 01:28:06.771 --> 01:28:08.823 I'm here. Coming! 01:28:08.902 --> 01:28:12.585 Stay, Reverend. I'm the father of the bride. 01:28:12.687 --> 01:28:14.339 You? A Rabbi?! 01:28:14.406 --> 01:28:17.158 It's a scandal, Pivert! A SCANDAL 01:28:17.219 --> 01:28:20.904 - Explain yourself! - 2 hours late and what's that disguise? 01:28:20.974 --> 01:28:23.230 A Rabbi! I'm a Rabbi like you. 01:28:23.278 --> 01:28:25.891 This is a Shtreimel. That, too, is a Shtreimel. 01:28:25.941 --> 01:28:27.773 These are Curlicues. (*Payot) 01:28:27.807 --> 01:28:30.261 - Those, too, are Curlicues! - Aah! 01:28:32.050 --> 01:28:33.705 We're here! 01:28:33.978 --> 01:28:35.617 That's my wife! 01:28:39.463 --> 01:28:40.979 Turn into it! 01:28:41.135 --> 01:28:44.015 - Mama, stop! - Shall I take the wheel? 01:28:44.085 --> 01:28:46.465 I can't Solomon, no brakes! 01:28:52.045 --> 01:28:55.439 What's that white smoke from the engine? 01:29:12.379 --> 01:29:15.051 My boat! My boat. 01:29:16.135 --> 01:29:17.813 Antoinette. 01:29:17.879 --> 01:29:19.862 You did that on purpose! 01:29:19.916 --> 01:29:21.375 My hat! 01:29:21.426 --> 01:29:23.885 My boat, gluglug... Your hat... 01:29:25.458 --> 01:29:27.355 Mademoiselle, allow me. 01:29:28.439 --> 01:29:30.160 Are you nuts? 01:29:30.279 --> 01:29:33.981 Papa, mama, don't start. Not today. 01:29:34.176 --> 01:29:36.611 Jacob! It's him! 01:29:41.032 --> 01:29:42.538 Shalom. 01:29:51.151 --> 01:29:53.865 Pivert, what's this tribe? 01:29:53.943 --> 01:29:56.690 Tribe?! Those are my friends, the Schmolls. 01:29:56.752 --> 01:29:59.908 They invited me to synagogue so I invite them to church. 01:29:59.933 --> 01:30:03.568 - Gotcha, Pivert! - Well done! - Imbecile! 01:30:16.236 --> 01:30:18.165 Sabres... up! 01:30:36.756 --> 01:30:38.318 Mr president... 01:30:43.881 --> 01:30:45.512 *... 01:30:45.740 --> 01:30:48.561 In the name of the bonds that unite our countries, 01:30:48.640 --> 01:30:50.646 I'm glad to be the first to... 01:30:50.700 --> 01:30:54.236 - Slimane, in the name of the law, I arrest you. - Me? 01:30:54.321 --> 01:30:56.921 Now, there, you're making a gaffe. 01:30:57.023 --> 01:30:59.083 And, what a cock up! Haha... 01:30:59.192 --> 01:31:01.112 - You'll see. - Yes, we'll see. 01:31:01.175 --> 01:31:04.259 It's OK, Minister I collared them without incident. 01:31:04.324 --> 01:31:06.824 Release these men, imbecile! 01:31:07.514 --> 01:31:09.793 Of course, Minister. 01:31:11.082 --> 01:31:14.531 - Mr. President, excuse us, sir. - Ah, it's nothing. 01:31:14.586 --> 01:31:16.116 Hmm... you! 01:31:16.178 --> 01:31:18.449 - Thank you, 'constable'. - 'Constable'? 01:31:18.525 --> 01:31:20.884 Because tomorrow... truuu-lut ! 01:31:21.319 --> 01:31:23.051 Truuu-lut ! 01:31:24.647 --> 01:31:26.359 ... truuu-lut ! 01:31:46.358 --> 01:31:49.827 My veil! Can I have my veil back? 01:31:51.502 --> 01:31:53.127 No. 01:32:03.157 --> 01:32:05.032 Antoinette! 01:32:06.661 --> 01:32:10.451 Where's she off to? Antoinette, come back! 01:32:10.506 --> 01:32:13.598 See that, Minister? He's taking my daughter! 01:32:13.653 --> 01:32:16.009 He just takes her and zoom! 01:32:16.237 --> 01:32:18.702 Victor, she's gone mad. 01:32:18.780 --> 01:32:21.793 You can't let our daughter go off with a... a... 01:32:21.875 --> 01:32:26.686 A President of a Republic. My daughter will marry a President. 01:32:45.717 --> 01:32:47.582 *Mazel tov. 01:32:47.912 --> 01:32:53.323 Of course, tonight, you're coming to the bar mitzvah dinner? 01:32:53.433 --> 01:32:55.610 Listen, Rabbi Jacob, listen. 01:32:55.735 --> 01:32:58.023 I must confess. 01:32:58.202 --> 01:33:00.735 Voila... I'm not Jewish. 01:33:01.035 --> 01:33:05.061 Doesn't matter, Monsieur. We'll, keep you on anyway.

Subtitles

THE MAD ADVENTURES OF RABBI JACOB (1973) LOUI DE FINES. Comedy ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΟΙ ΥΠΟΤΙΤΛΟΙ