WEBVTT NOTE Paragraph 00:01:15.568 --> 00:01:17.669 Ships are mind-boggling, huh? 00:01:17.878 --> 00:01:20.848 - What? - Ships are mind-boggling... 00:01:21.048 --> 00:01:24.109 - aren't they? - Sure. 00:01:24.451 --> 00:01:26.044 Why is that? 00:01:26.253 --> 00:01:28.585 - What? - why are they mind-boggling? 00:01:28.789 --> 00:01:31.349 They don't sink. 00:01:31.692 --> 00:01:33.660 Were they supposed to? 00:01:33.861 --> 00:01:36.728 Sure. So heavy and so huge, filled... 00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:41.128 with heavy stuff. They should... sink right down. 00:02:13.934 --> 00:02:18.462 "S0 N0RMAL - THE M0VIE" 00:03:51.365 --> 00:03:56.269 --and enjoy our convenience stores. 00:03:56.637 --> 00:04:00.801 We wish you ail a great trip. 00:04:01.008 --> 00:04:04.103 Make way for the newlyweds! 00:04:04.311 --> 00:04:06.370 Newlyweds passing through. 00:04:06.580 --> 00:04:09.811 Excuse us, please. 00:04:23.263 --> 00:04:25.595 Is there a priority check-in for honeymooners? 00:04:26.066 --> 00:04:28.467 Yes, there is. 00:04:28.802 --> 00:04:30.964 Well, then... 00:04:31.171 --> 00:04:32.502 l'm not good at farewells. 00:04:32.706 --> 00:04:35.004 Me neither. 00:04:42.416 --> 00:04:44.646 See you around, then. 00:04:44.852 --> 00:04:48.152 - Enjoy your honeymoon. - Thanks. Take care. 00:04:56.697 --> 00:04:59.064 Are you going on your honeymoon by yourself? 00:04:59.266 --> 00:05:03.260 I hope not, if I find a well-hung sailor aboard. 00:05:08.976 --> 00:05:11.445 Rui! 00:05:12.179 --> 00:05:14.580 I just heard we won't leave for 2 more hours. 00:05:14.781 --> 00:05:18.274 - So? - in my state, I can wait... 00:05:18.485 --> 00:05:19.475 2 hours by myself. 00:05:19.686 --> 00:05:21.085 What do you want me to do? 00:05:21.588 --> 00:05:23.147 Would you keep me company? 00:05:23.724 --> 00:05:25.886 For 2 hours? Doing what? 00:05:26.527 --> 00:05:29.758 Have you thought we might never see each other again? 00:05:29.963 --> 00:05:31.226 You said you'd call me. 00:05:31.431 --> 00:05:33.422 But who said I keep my promises? 00:05:33.667 --> 00:05:37.297 - You don't? - No, I do, but... 00:05:37.504 --> 00:05:41.236 we might hit an Antarctic iceberg near Punta Dei Este. 00:05:41.441 --> 00:05:43.102 Icebergs don't get there. 00:05:43.310 --> 00:05:44.334 - They do. - No, they don't. 00:05:44.545 --> 00:05:47.242 - Do to! - Do not! 00:05:47.648 --> 00:05:53.018 Groom passing through! Make way for the newlyweds! 00:05:53.487 --> 00:05:55.888 Are there any icebergs coming from the Antarctic? 00:05:56.824 --> 00:05:59.122 No, there are not. 00:05:59.326 --> 00:06:01.852 I must be the lousiest company on earth. 00:06:02.062 --> 00:06:04.258 He won't keep me company for a minute! 00:06:04.464 --> 00:06:06.762 1 minute is ok. Even 15 minutes is fine. 00:06:06.967 --> 00:06:10.232 But 120 minutes need to be filled up somehow. 00:06:10.437 --> 00:06:14.374 So wouid you stay with me, if we fill up those 2 hours? 00:06:14.575 --> 00:06:16.407 Yes, I wouid. 00:06:16.677 --> 00:06:18.873 Excuse us, please. 00:06:19.446 --> 00:06:22.882 I know what we could do to fill up our time... 00:06:23.083 --> 00:06:27.281 and, at the same time, ease our tension. 00:06:27.488 --> 00:06:29.820 Both? I like it already. 00:06:30.324 --> 00:06:35.421 But you mustn't believe your soul will go to hell... 00:06:35.629 --> 00:06:37.222 and God will punish you. 00:06:37.431 --> 00:06:40.093 0o you believe that? 00:06:53.113 --> 00:06:54.478 Excuse us. 00:06:54.681 --> 00:06:57.116 Coming through! 00:07:28.916 --> 00:07:31.783 - How do you do? - Fine, thank God! 00:07:31.985 --> 00:07:33.680 All's fine for the faithful. 00:07:33.887 --> 00:07:36.015 May I ask what you are looking for? 00:07:36.490 --> 00:07:38.549 Us? 00:07:38.892 --> 00:07:40.018 For you, father. 00:07:40.227 --> 00:07:43.595 Exactly. For You, our Father! 00:07:43.797 --> 00:07:45.663 Not that Father. This one. 00:07:45.866 --> 00:07:47.891 Right. For you, father. 00:07:48.101 --> 00:07:49.569 - And we found you. - Halleluia! 00:07:50.070 --> 00:07:52.630 - You married us, remember? - Yesterday? 00:07:52.840 --> 00:07:53.705 I do. 00:07:53.907 --> 00:07:56.171 But serious events last night... 00:07:56.610 --> 00:07:58.942 made us realize we've made a big mistake. 00:07:59.146 --> 00:08:02.343 And since a wedding annulment is expensive-- 00:08:02.549 --> 00:08:04.711 wouid you please come out? 00:08:04.918 --> 00:08:06.943 Hidden like that, it looks like... 00:08:07.154 --> 00:08:08.553 - You're in... - The outhouse. 00:08:08.755 --> 00:08:11.725 Yeah, in the... privy. 00:08:14.795 --> 00:08:16.229 - That's better. - Much better. 00:08:16.430 --> 00:08:18.296 Where were we? 00:08:18.499 --> 00:08:20.627 We'd like to know if... 00:08:20.834 --> 00:08:22.802 when you purchase an appliance... 00:08:23.003 --> 00:08:24.596 there's a 24-hour return period. 00:08:24.805 --> 00:08:28.070 - It's been less than 12 hours. - Exactly. 00:08:28.275 --> 00:08:30.334 - So, I though-- - Say no more. 00:08:30.544 --> 00:08:35.106 You think I can annul your vows? No way! 00:08:35.749 --> 00:08:39.310 - No! - "Annul" is a strong word. 00:08:39.520 --> 00:08:40.919 Way too strong. 00:08:41.121 --> 00:08:45.183 We thought you could just rip our wedding papers up. 00:08:45.392 --> 00:08:47.417 - Rip them up?! - 0r burn them. 00:08:47.628 --> 00:08:49.619 Please? 00:08:50.364 --> 00:08:51.957 Are you two crazy? 00:08:52.266 --> 00:08:54.098 - We're not... - At all. 00:08:54.301 --> 00:08:55.564 Listen, father... 00:08:55.769 --> 00:08:57.794 we had a tense night. 00:08:58.005 --> 00:09:01.339 - Indeed. - Reiax, my children. 00:09:01.542 --> 00:09:04.671 I've officiated at weddings for 20 years. Next-day... 00:09:04.878 --> 00:09:07.074 jitters are quite normal. 00:09:07.281 --> 00:09:10.649 But anyone can see you were made for each other. 00:09:11.351 --> 00:09:13.547 We what? 00:09:13.854 --> 00:09:17.552 No, not us. we weren't... 00:09:17.758 --> 00:09:19.590 we met yesterday. 00:09:19.793 --> 00:09:20.453 Pardon? 00:09:20.661 --> 00:09:22.755 We met yesterday. 00:09:25.032 --> 00:09:27.558 GiANT MiNi FLASHBACK 00:09:28.235 --> 00:09:32.502 Not in there! Give me the money. This is for the... huh... 00:09:33.006 --> 00:09:34.633 - I'll win the bet. - will not. 00:09:34.842 --> 00:09:37.709 - Will not! - I will! 00:09:37.911 --> 00:09:39.436 You don't know who I bet on. 00:09:40.581 --> 00:09:41.639 Who's the groom? 00:09:41.849 --> 00:09:43.715 - I am. - You? 00:09:43.917 --> 00:09:47.785 Congratuiations. I wish you all the best. 00:09:47.988 --> 00:09:50.480 I'm the 6 PM bride. 00:09:50.691 --> 00:09:51.749 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 00:09:51.959 --> 00:09:53.427 All the best. 00:09:53.627 --> 00:09:55.186 We meant to vacate the church-- 00:09:55.395 --> 00:09:57.454 - You haven't? - The nave's free... 00:09:57.664 --> 00:09:59.325 but we're still at the receiving line. 00:09:59.533 --> 00:10:01.661 You were to vacate it 25 minutes ago. 00:10:01.869 --> 00:10:04.600 There's a problem. Nobody brought rice. 00:10:05.072 --> 00:10:08.599 Everyone expected someone else to bring it, so there's no rice. 00:10:08.809 --> 00:10:10.641 I wish mine had no rice. 00:10:10.844 --> 00:10:15.145 Don't say that. without rice, your wedding is jinxed. 00:10:15.649 --> 00:10:17.174 - 0h yeah? - Really jinxed. 00:10:19.620 --> 00:10:22.521 - Just a sec. - Thanks. 00:10:23.157 --> 00:10:25.854 Has anyone brought rice? 00:10:28.495 --> 00:10:31.021 Rice? it's right here. 00:10:31.765 --> 00:10:33.233 What is that? 00:10:34.268 --> 00:10:38.262 100 lbs. Martha wanted to make sure we had enough. 00:10:39.673 --> 00:10:41.801 Martha's famiiy always exaggerates. 00:10:42.009 --> 00:10:44.000 Great. Martha's your fiancée? 00:10:44.211 --> 00:10:45.838 Girlfriend. 00:10:46.280 --> 00:10:47.645 We skipped the engagement part. 00:10:47.848 --> 00:10:51.842 Me, too! From Sergio's girlfriend to his bride. 00:10:52.052 --> 00:10:53.713 - Engagements are dated. - Yeah. 00:10:53.921 --> 00:10:56.856 A thing from the past. So... 00:10:57.057 --> 00:10:58.821 can I have a handful? 00:10:59.026 --> 00:11:02.018 Angela, give the lady here 200 oz. 00:11:02.229 --> 00:11:03.594 No can do, Rui. 00:11:03.797 --> 00:11:07.165 I'm Martha's bridesmaid, and the Bag Keeper. 00:11:07.367 --> 00:11:09.563 - "Bag Keeper"? - The rice bag. 00:11:09.770 --> 00:11:12.364 The priest might mistake it for charity. 00:11:21.715 --> 00:11:24.412 That's so exciting, daddy. 00:11:24.751 --> 00:11:29.450 You liked it, sweetie? I had it selected just for you. 00:11:29.656 --> 00:11:31.420 So cute, daddy. 00:11:31.625 --> 00:11:33.957 And I know how hard switching the ring tone is. 00:11:34.161 --> 00:11:38.098 If not today, when would I ever use that? 00:11:38.999 --> 00:11:40.023 You're not gonna answer? 00:11:40.234 --> 00:11:42.202 Let it ring a bit longer. 00:11:44.204 --> 00:11:46.935 Answer it. it might be important. 00:11:47.374 --> 00:11:51.777 Hello? Rui, let me guess: the wedding's off. 00:11:54.515 --> 00:12:00.750 No problem. we'll save on your apartment mortgage. 00:12:01.321 --> 00:12:03.289 Give it to me, come on. 00:12:03.490 --> 00:12:07.393 Hi, Rui. we're stuck in gridlock. 00:12:07.594 --> 00:12:10.222 Well, brides are supposed to be late anyway. 00:12:10.631 --> 00:12:12.065 There's no hurry. 00:12:12.266 --> 00:12:14.166 The 6 PM bride's here with me. 00:12:14.368 --> 00:12:16.166 She is? How come? 00:12:16.370 --> 00:12:17.599 What happened? 00:12:18.238 --> 00:12:19.330 She needs some rice. 00:12:19.540 --> 00:12:21.440 Just 48 oz. I'll pay it back. 00:12:21.975 --> 00:12:23.966 Angela won't let anyone near our rice. 00:12:24.178 --> 00:12:26.840 Rightly so. She's the Bag Keeper. 00:12:27.347 --> 00:12:30.442 Talk to her and green-light it yourself. 00:12:31.385 --> 00:12:32.944 All right. 00:12:33.153 --> 00:12:36.020 - It's important. - Cool. 00:12:36.223 --> 00:12:36.985 0kay. 00:12:37.491 --> 00:12:38.481 She said no. 00:12:38.692 --> 00:12:40.490 - No way! - why, Martha? 00:12:40.694 --> 00:12:42.560 Too bad they forgot their rice. 00:12:42.763 --> 00:12:45.528 I won't ruin my wedding for their stupidity. 00:12:45.732 --> 00:12:49.930 Martha, there's 100 lbs. here. Enough to bury us. 00:12:50.137 --> 00:12:53.072 Look, Rui. There are 500 guests. 00:12:53.273 --> 00:12:55.970 100 lbs. divided by 500 guests equals 100 oz... 00:12:56.176 --> 00:12:58.167 barely a handful. 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:00.142 What did she say? 00:13:00.347 --> 00:13:02.543 100 lbs. divided by 500 guests... 00:13:02.749 --> 00:13:05.514 equais 100 oz per guest. Just a handful. 00:13:05.719 --> 00:13:07.414 But not everyone throws rice. 00:13:07.621 --> 00:13:10.113 Heard that? Not everyone throws rice. 00:13:10.324 --> 00:13:12.850 "Says who? in case they all do, there won't be enough." 00:13:13.060 --> 00:13:14.994 Someone might wanna throw 2 handfuls. 00:13:15.195 --> 00:13:18.165 I'm not asking for a bag. Just a handful. 00:13:18.365 --> 00:13:19.992 She wants only a handful. 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:24.034 Will you stop aggravating me right now?! 00:13:24.238 --> 00:13:25.535 My answer is no! 00:13:27.908 --> 00:13:31.640 0kay, but that's absurd. You're being selfish... 00:13:31.845 --> 00:13:34.712 but I won't argue with you in the vestry. 00:13:34.915 --> 00:13:36.508 I forgive her, cause she's nervous. 00:13:36.717 --> 00:13:39.812 She is nervous? And what am I?! 00:13:40.020 --> 00:13:42.318 I will have no rice thrown. 00:13:42.523 --> 00:13:45.322 You could throw flower petals. That's in. 00:13:48.295 --> 00:13:51.265 Bitch! Fuck! Miser! 00:13:52.332 --> 00:13:55.267 Sit down, guys. I was the 6 PM bride. 00:13:55.469 --> 00:13:58.097 But I paid for half of these flowers... 00:13:58.305 --> 00:14:02.503 and I'll have to take my half now by force majeure . 00:14:05.612 --> 00:14:09.014 Rice is out. Petals are in, okay? 00:14:09.216 --> 00:14:11.446 Throw the flowers I gave you. Come on! 00:14:13.620 --> 00:14:14.951 Wait! Not the stems! 00:14:20.294 --> 00:14:22.353 It's aimost 7:30 PM. Honk! 00:14:22.563 --> 00:14:26.522 Louder! They're ruining my entrance. 00:14:37.311 --> 00:14:38.301 Who is that? 00:14:38.812 --> 00:14:40.644 - Crying over there? - Beats me. 00:14:40.848 --> 00:14:44.409 - Been at it forever. - why? 00:14:44.618 --> 00:14:45.949 I don't know. 00:14:51.091 --> 00:14:53.321 Are you all right? 00:14:53.527 --> 00:14:56.292 Why are you crying? 00:14:57.097 --> 00:15:02.433 Keep it down. was it a guy? 00:15:40.674 --> 00:15:43.405 Stop, Vani. Don't! Don't tease them. 00:15:43.610 --> 00:15:45.169 Come on, baby, get into the swing of it. 00:15:45.379 --> 00:15:51.512 What's the use of renting a carriage, if you act normal? 00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:54.283 Going to make babies, huh?! 00:15:54.488 --> 00:15:56.616 Go deep, big daddy! 00:15:56.824 --> 00:16:00.727 - You're on fire, baby! - The groom's a cuckold! 00:16:00.928 --> 00:16:03.420 0h, great! This is so embarrassing! 00:16:03.630 --> 00:16:07.225 Stop it. They're jealous of us. 00:16:07.434 --> 00:16:10.631 Whore! whore! whore! 00:16:10.838 --> 00:16:13.466 Can't we go any faster? Let's gallop! 00:16:13.674 --> 00:16:16.371 This is part of the carriage's romanticism. 00:16:16.910 --> 00:16:18.901 Those bastards up front won't move! 00:16:19.112 --> 00:16:21.206 - Penguin! - Fuck you! 00:16:21.415 --> 00:16:23.747 Don't! Don't do that! 00:16:23.951 --> 00:16:27.251 They're irate. Soon, they throw eggs at us. 00:16:27.454 --> 00:16:30.082 Please. who'd throw eggs at a bride? 00:16:31.959 --> 00:16:33.893 Shit! 00:16:34.228 --> 00:16:38.426 We're have come here today in the sight of our Lord... 00:16:38.632 --> 00:16:43.536 to join in holy matrimony Martha and Rui. 00:16:43.737 --> 00:16:46.502 But, first, I'd like to share with you... 00:16:46.707 --> 00:16:50.473 a few thoughts on another matrimony... 00:16:50.677 --> 00:16:54.341 held in Canaan, 2,000 years ago. 00:16:54.548 --> 00:16:59.452 Rentals are disgusting. So many balls must've sweated in here. 00:17:00.254 --> 00:17:03.417 Stop. People are staring at our butts, Rui. 00:17:03.624 --> 00:17:05.217 Who? They are not. 00:17:05.425 --> 00:17:08.827 Grooms get sweaty balls. it's a warm spot. 00:17:09.029 --> 00:17:10.827 This suit must be impregnated with men... 00:17:11.031 --> 00:17:12.465 and it itches. 00:17:12.666 --> 00:17:14.725 It itches badly. 00:17:20.908 --> 00:17:25.436 Look at the crowd, honey. They are sending guests away. 00:17:25.646 --> 00:17:29.048 And I fretted over the attendance. 00:17:29.249 --> 00:17:31.775 Told'ya I don't believe in bad luck. 00:17:31.985 --> 00:17:34.283 - Son, son! - Mom! 00:17:34.488 --> 00:17:36.616 Guess what happened? 00:17:36.824 --> 00:17:38.815 The local druglords... 00:17:39.026 --> 00:17:40.994 shut down all businesses in the district. 00:17:41.195 --> 00:17:42.720 - What?! - No shit, mom? 00:17:42.930 --> 00:17:45.399 The reception hall is closed. 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:49.229 The bouncers said today's reception is cancelled. 00:17:49.436 --> 00:17:52.963 - I'll talk to-- - weddings are not businesses! 00:17:53.173 --> 00:17:55.198 Weddings are sacred! 00:17:55.409 --> 00:17:58.003 Get me this druglord right now! 00:17:58.212 --> 00:18:00.510 Wait here, son. 00:18:01.014 --> 00:18:05.451 Women know how to deal with these problems. 00:18:05.652 --> 00:18:07.245 She's sensible. 00:18:07.454 --> 00:18:10.981 She'll charm him with her sweetness. 00:18:11.191 --> 00:18:12.317 She'll straighten this out. 00:18:12.893 --> 00:18:15.419 Shut up, mom. I've got a migraine. 00:18:15.629 --> 00:18:19.588 Vani can handle it, son. Let her take care of it. 00:18:20.234 --> 00:18:21.599 We're screwed! Screwed, mom! 00:18:22.536 --> 00:18:23.970 - I... - I... 00:18:24.171 --> 00:18:25.866 Martha Figueira... 00:18:26.073 --> 00:18:28.303 Martha Figueira, promise... 00:18:28.509 --> 00:18:30.204 to be faithful to you... 00:18:30.411 --> 00:18:32.106 - to love... - to love... 00:18:32.312 --> 00:18:34.508 - and respect you... - and respect you... 00:18:34.715 --> 00:18:36.479 for better or for worse... 00:18:36.683 --> 00:18:38.651 for better or for worse... 00:18:38.852 --> 00:18:41.150 as long as we both shall live. 00:18:41.355 --> 00:18:44.347 As long as we both shall live. 00:18:44.558 --> 00:18:47.687 May God bless you, and bless... 00:18:47.895 --> 00:18:50.364 your love and commitment. 00:18:51.765 --> 00:18:54.735 You may kiss the bride. 00:19:10.184 --> 00:19:11.845 L0VEM0BILE 00:19:14.121 --> 00:19:17.250 10 years from now, in a routine physical, the doctor... 00:19:17.458 --> 00:19:19.722 will find rice stuck to my balls. 00:19:20.260 --> 00:19:22.957 Spare me your scatology today. 00:19:23.163 --> 00:19:26.497 I've got rice everywhere. 0pen it. 00:19:26.700 --> 00:19:29.533 I need lessons on unbuttoning all these. 00:19:29.736 --> 00:19:32.797 Call me when you throw the bouquet, okay? 00:19:33.006 --> 00:19:34.201 It's the best part. 00:19:34.408 --> 00:19:36.001 - Not today. - why not? 00:19:36.210 --> 00:19:39.305 I promised my mom I'd throw it to her cousin. 00:19:39.513 --> 00:19:41.277 - Who? - A miserable woman... 00:19:41.482 --> 00:19:45.009 abused as a kid by her drunk father, and her 3 boyfriends... 00:19:45.219 --> 00:19:47.688 all drunks, who beat her up. A tragedy. 00:19:47.888 --> 00:19:51.688 Didn't you see a skinny girl crying in the front row? 00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:02.394 Thanks, guys! My pleasure collaborating with you. 00:20:02.703 --> 00:20:04.899 Too bad you cleaned me good. 00:20:05.105 --> 00:20:07.233 I hope to collaborate further in the future. 00:20:07.441 --> 00:20:11.742 Motherfuckers! Thieves! Police! 00:20:11.945 --> 00:20:15.575 MATTRESS-DRILL 00:20:23.323 --> 00:20:25.382 There was rice left. I had an idea. 00:20:25.726 --> 00:20:27.626 What idea? 00:20:40.207 --> 00:20:42.073 Now what? Do I leave you here? 00:20:42.509 --> 00:20:45.604 No, take me to our bed, Sergio. 00:20:46.914 --> 00:20:49.679 Do we just go ahead and do it? 00:20:49.883 --> 00:20:52.875 0n their wedding night, most people are anxious to do it. 00:20:53.086 --> 00:20:55.748 Right. And are you? 00:20:55.956 --> 00:20:57.617 Anxious to have sex? 00:20:57.825 --> 00:21:01.557 No, but something has to go right for us tonight. 00:21:03.630 --> 00:21:07.089 I'll take a shower first. I'm all gooey with egg-- 00:21:07.301 --> 00:21:09.929 I'll take one, too, then. 00:21:10.137 --> 00:21:12.731 You'l smell good, whereas I'm all stinky. 00:21:12.940 --> 00:21:14.704 - Are you? - No... 00:21:14.908 --> 00:21:18.503 only in certain spots. My dress train is long, hot. 00:21:18.712 --> 00:21:20.578 But I'll go first. 00:21:20.781 --> 00:21:22.840 Wait! Take me to the kitchen. 00:21:23.050 --> 00:21:25.451 I wanna pop our champagne. 00:21:25.652 --> 00:21:29.111 - Wanna "pop" in the kitchen? - Yeah. 00:21:30.457 --> 00:21:32.926 Watch out, Sergio. 00:21:37.598 --> 00:21:40.932 Look, there's leftover lasagna. 00:21:41.135 --> 00:21:44.730 Heat it up in the microwave. I'm starving. 00:21:52.546 --> 00:21:56.881 Give your body pleasure, Macarena Cause your body's for good things 00:21:57.084 --> 00:22:01.715 Give your body pleasure, Macarena Ehhh, Macarena! 00:22:38.959 --> 00:22:43.954 Bouquet pots are a fun, traditional wedding game. 00:22:44.164 --> 00:22:47.794 The groom and his best men bet on who will grab it. 00:22:48.735 --> 00:22:52.103 Whoever wins, donates the pot money to charity. 00:22:52.306 --> 00:22:54.900 - That's nice. - Yeah, and I bet on you. 00:22:55.876 --> 00:22:59.904 I support charity organizations for the poor, so... 00:23:00.114 --> 00:23:01.548 I really have to win. 00:23:01.748 --> 00:23:02.806 I'll try. it's in my own interest. 00:23:03.016 --> 00:23:06.316 Here's an insider's tip for you, ok? 00:23:07.254 --> 00:23:10.519 Remember that girl crying in the church? 00:23:12.693 --> 00:23:14.821 Martha will throw it at her out of pity. 00:23:15.028 --> 00:23:17.258 - No way? - Here's the deal: 00:23:17.464 --> 00:23:19.990 try and position yourself-- 00:23:23.170 --> 00:23:27.107 Girls, I'm gonna throw the bouquet! 00:23:28.575 --> 00:23:30.737 Ready? 00:23:31.645 --> 00:23:33.670 0ne... 00:23:34.281 --> 00:23:35.271 Two... 00:24:01.208 --> 00:24:04.667 I wanna see you, and hold your body 00:24:05.312 --> 00:24:06.973 Sleep with you 00:24:07.181 --> 00:24:09.081 Day and night 00:24:09.283 --> 00:24:12.218 Every day of our love 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:16.379 I wanna love you forever-- 00:24:16.590 --> 00:24:18.820 whose lipstick is this? 00:24:19.026 --> 00:24:22.018 What lipstick? I bet it's yours, Vani. 00:24:22.229 --> 00:24:24.630 It's not. I've checked. 00:24:24.832 --> 00:24:26.857 I was taking all my lipsticks to our honeymoon. 00:24:27.067 --> 00:24:29.161 "Was?" You won't anymore? 00:24:29.369 --> 00:24:30.837 You got me all right. 00:24:31.038 --> 00:24:34.474 No, I didn't. Are you accusing me of something? 00:24:34.675 --> 00:24:36.871 Not yet. First... 00:24:37.077 --> 00:24:39.136 I want to know whose lipstick this is. 00:24:39.713 --> 00:24:42.011 Gosh, it could've been there for ages. 00:24:42.216 --> 00:24:45.550 It would've dried out, then. But it's wet. 00:24:45.753 --> 00:24:48.848 Someone drank from it today, or no earlier than last night. 00:24:49.056 --> 00:24:53.357 If not you, then who? Perhaps the cleaning lady. 00:24:53.927 --> 00:24:55.326 Dona Rosa? 00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:59.591 A kardecist widow, mother of 5, sexless since 1963? 00:25:00.501 --> 00:25:03.402 Drinking champagne with bright pink lipstick?! 00:25:03.804 --> 00:25:06.501 It's the only other woman who comes in here. 00:25:06.707 --> 00:25:09.574 She might be a major drunk, and we don't know it. 00:25:10.611 --> 00:25:11.737 I've noticed there's... 00:25:11.945 --> 00:25:15.973 a bottle of French champagne missing. 00:25:16.183 --> 00:25:20.120 Go ahead and look. There's oniy 5 in there, right ? 00:25:20.320 --> 00:25:21.310 - 1... - what the hell?! 00:25:21.522 --> 00:25:22.853 - 2... - Stop it! 00:25:23.057 --> 00:25:24.821 - 3... - That's French, Vani! 00:25:25.025 --> 00:25:26.584 - 4... - what the heck? 00:25:26.794 --> 00:25:30.253 5. Right. 0ne's missing. I get it. 00:25:30.464 --> 00:25:34.697 You two must have drunk it before you stuck it up her ass! 00:25:34.902 --> 00:25:37.098 Whose ass? Vani, are you crazy? 00:25:37.504 --> 00:25:40.940 That's what I want to know, Sergio. whose ass? 00:25:41.141 --> 00:25:42.302 And don't call me crazy! 00:25:42.509 --> 00:25:44.136 Don't! That's an expensive TV. 00:25:44.611 --> 00:25:48.241 The whole office chipped in to buy us that. 00:25:48.449 --> 00:25:51.885 I think a whore from your office screwed you here! 00:25:52.086 --> 00:25:54.817 That's absurd, Vani. You're delirious. 00:25:55.022 --> 00:25:58.390 Crazy peopie are delirious, and I'm not crazy! 00:25:59.827 --> 00:26:03.661 Goddammit, Vani! what the fuck! 00:26:05.065 --> 00:26:07.227 I'm glad it's nothing serious. 00:26:07.434 --> 00:26:10.404 A minor problem shouldn't ruin our party. 00:26:10.604 --> 00:26:12.538 DJ?! Put some music on! 00:26:12.739 --> 00:26:15.367 Let's party, let's dance. 00:26:28.956 --> 00:26:31.857 0ur next question's worth this mini-system... 00:26:32.059 --> 00:26:34.653 or your mom's tacky soup tureen. 00:26:34.862 --> 00:26:35.852 What was her name? 00:26:36.063 --> 00:26:40.159 Who cares? Sheila, Shana, Sharon, whatever. 00:26:41.068 --> 00:26:41.864 What was she like? 00:26:42.336 --> 00:26:46.432 Look, the guys from work insisted on a bachelor's party. 00:26:47.574 --> 00:26:49.099 Don't, Vani! 00:26:49.309 --> 00:26:51.175 Wrong answer! what was she like? 00:26:52.479 --> 00:26:57.041 A fake blond call girl, with a black patch... 00:26:57.251 --> 00:26:58.650 a Southern accent. That's it. 00:26:59.219 --> 00:27:00.618 Where did you do it? 00:27:00.821 --> 00:27:02.220 Goddammit, Vani. 00:27:03.323 --> 00:27:06.190 I told you. Right here. There you have it. 00:27:06.660 --> 00:27:09.129 Wrong answer! 5 seconds for the correct one. 00:27:09.329 --> 00:27:10.854 5... 4... 3... 2... 00:27:11.064 --> 00:27:13.692 0n the couch. There. I said it. 00:27:13.901 --> 00:27:16.461 0n the couch. 00:27:16.670 --> 00:27:19.162 - Not on our bed? - 0f course not! 00:27:19.373 --> 00:27:22.809 The truth! I'm an expert in detecting bitches' traces! 00:27:23.911 --> 00:27:25.936 0k, it was on our bed... 00:27:26.146 --> 00:27:28.513 but I sat in the corner. 00:27:28.716 --> 00:27:30.548 It was just a quickie. 00:27:30.751 --> 00:27:33.118 0n our bed, Sergio? 00:27:33.320 --> 00:27:35.288 The bed we were meant to share? 00:27:35.489 --> 00:27:37.480 The cradle of our future family? 00:27:37.691 --> 00:27:41.059 I've apoiogized a million times! it was a stupid thing. 00:27:41.495 --> 00:27:44.362 - 1 or 2 stupid things? - For God's sake! 00:27:44.565 --> 00:27:46.033 1 or 2 stupid things?! 00:27:46.233 --> 00:27:48.429 I don't get it. what do you mean? 00:27:48.969 --> 00:27:51.563 0kay, 2 stupid things. 00:27:51.772 --> 00:27:55.265 But the 2nd one was lame, sort of haft-assed. 00:27:55.476 --> 00:27:58.878 And what did you do with that whore in between? 00:27:59.446 --> 00:28:01.437 I refuse to answer that. 00:28:01.648 --> 00:28:04.049 Don't! Vani! 00:28:04.251 --> 00:28:08.711 Vani! what the fuck!!! 00:28:16.330 --> 00:28:19.698 You throw rice and I'll kick your asses. 00:28:45.893 --> 00:28:46.951 Fight! 00:28:49.963 --> 00:28:52.933 Do you know how much your fit cost us? 00:28:53.133 --> 00:28:56.592 Can't answer. I have an appointment now: 00:28:56.804 --> 00:28:58.670 I'll go down and screw the first guy I see. 00:28:59.773 --> 00:29:02.208 What's so funny? I'm serious. 00:29:02.409 --> 00:29:05.344 I'm gonna screw the first guy I see. 00:29:05.546 --> 00:29:08.072 And you're fixing your makeup for him? 00:29:08.282 --> 00:29:10.649 Exactiy. Anyone with a dick, I'll screw. 00:29:11.218 --> 00:29:13.277 Even Stinky, that bum in the corner? 00:29:13.487 --> 00:29:16.513 Best aims he's ever been given. 00:29:16.723 --> 00:29:19.818 Come on! who are you trying to fool? 00:29:22.663 --> 00:29:24.324 I'm fine. Never been better. 00:29:24.531 --> 00:29:26.431 I'm fine. Never been better. 00:29:26.633 --> 00:29:28.601 I'm fine. Never been better. 00:29:41.315 --> 00:29:44.341 Look up here, Vani. 00:29:44.852 --> 00:29:47.480 Would you please look up here? 00:29:56.296 --> 00:29:59.732 There: the 1st guy you saw. You'll have to do me. 00:30:00.234 --> 00:30:02.225 Sergio, my love... 00:30:02.436 --> 00:30:04.029 screw you! 00:30:09.209 --> 00:30:10.870 - I'm beat. - Are you? 00:30:11.078 --> 00:30:14.446 I'm gonna go to bed and sleep like a log. 00:30:14.648 --> 00:30:16.013 What? Are you crazy? 00:30:16.216 --> 00:30:17.877 0n our wedding night? 00:30:18.085 --> 00:30:19.746 Let's consummate it. 00:30:20.254 --> 00:30:22.916 - Consummate? - Means "screwing" in Catholic. 00:30:23.123 --> 00:30:25.421 - I don't beiieve it. - what? 00:30:25.626 --> 00:30:30.086 You've become an oid man a bit too soon, haven't you? 00:30:30.297 --> 00:30:32.391 You won't fuck me on our wedding night? 00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:35.034 Honey, my back and feet hurt... 00:30:35.235 --> 00:30:37.397 the poor skinny giri aimost died... 00:30:37.604 --> 00:30:40.403 A minor head trauma, no big deai. 00:30:40.607 --> 00:30:43.474 It was. we'ii have the rest our iives to do it. 00:30:43.677 --> 00:30:45.702 No, not the rest of our iives. 00:30:45.913 --> 00:30:47.711 That's the 2nd tradition you break. 00:30:47.915 --> 00:30:50.213 0ur marriage is doubie-jinxed. 00:30:50.417 --> 00:30:53.648 - You don't beiieve in jinx? - i don't beiieve in "tradition." 00:30:53.854 --> 00:30:56.448 weii, i do. i'm a traditionai guy. So... 00:30:56.657 --> 00:30:59.786 i'ii consummate our wedding by myseif, ok? 00:30:59.993 --> 00:31:05.090 My ieft hand, with the wedding band, represents you. 00:31:05.299 --> 00:31:06.323 So iong i don't get drips... 00:31:06.533 --> 00:31:10.868 i can't promise that. with your majorjinx... 00:31:11.705 --> 00:31:13.400 who knows? 00:31:18.846 --> 00:31:22.976 Vani, iook here, piease. 0on't do this to me. 00:31:23.183 --> 00:31:25.117 Look. i wanna show you something. 00:31:25.319 --> 00:31:28.152 You got maii! Look! An e-maii! 00:31:28.355 --> 00:31:29.720 I L0VE Y0U 00:31:34.528 --> 00:31:36.997 Throw it to me. 00:31:39.967 --> 00:31:42.493 Server probiems. 00:31:42.703 --> 00:31:43.761 Now, the iipstick. 00:31:44.104 --> 00:31:47.506 - Gosh! - You said your ieft hand. 00:31:47.708 --> 00:31:50.143 I've got rice stuck in a piace i can't reach. 00:31:50.344 --> 00:31:52.005 0on't ask for my heip. 00:31:52.212 --> 00:31:55.204 When we puii over, i'ii take off my pants. 00:31:55.416 --> 00:31:59.944 0ad? i can't taik. My battery is aimost dead. 00:32:00.154 --> 00:32:00.814 Yes, dad? 00:32:01.688 --> 00:32:05.283 Sergio, you got maii. 00:32:05.492 --> 00:32:10.191 I'LL SCREw THE FiRST GUY i SEE 00:32:25.646 --> 00:32:27.808 i got an itch from my pants, you know? 00:32:28.015 --> 00:32:29.449 I'LL SCREw THE FiRST GUY i SEE 00:32:31.451 --> 00:32:33.317 Let me see it. 00:32:33.520 --> 00:32:36.319 It's upside down. 00:32:36.523 --> 00:32:38.821 Gotta go, dad. Bye. 00:32:39.026 --> 00:32:40.585 Fiip it. 00:32:40.794 --> 00:32:42.228 You must be Martha, right? 00:32:42.429 --> 00:32:46.627 - Who's this? - The bride before you. 00:32:46.834 --> 00:32:49.030 You ruined my wedding, you know? 00:32:49.370 --> 00:32:52.203 By refusing to give me a handfui of rice... 00:32:52.406 --> 00:32:54.568 everything's gone wrong in my iife. 00:32:54.775 --> 00:32:56.607 - It jinxed you? - Jinxed?! 00:32:56.810 --> 00:33:00.075 - You cursed my marriage. - That rice thing. 00:33:00.280 --> 00:33:03.910 Your honking made my carriage horses panic... 00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.851 then peopie threw eggs at us, making our horses fart. 00:33:09.056 --> 00:33:12.549 There was no reception. The drugiords caiied a curfew. 00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:16.323 And, to top it off, when i got here-- 00:33:16.530 --> 00:33:18.020 where is-- ? Gone? 00:33:18.232 --> 00:33:21.031 - Your piace?! - No, the asshoie i married. 00:33:21.235 --> 00:33:23.067 Sergiooo! 00:33:26.773 --> 00:33:30.209 Vani is fucking crazy! She is crazy. 00:33:30.410 --> 00:33:32.037 Vani's making me crazy! 00:33:32.846 --> 00:33:35.713 Sergio Rodrigues de Mattos! 00:33:36.083 --> 00:33:38.916 He aiways makes it iook iike i'm crazy. 00:33:39.119 --> 00:33:42.054 You coward! Get out of my sight, hear me?! 00:33:42.689 --> 00:33:45.886 Now i'm fucked. i'm fucked! 00:33:46.093 --> 00:33:48.118 I'm totaiiy fucked. 00:33:48.862 --> 00:33:53.561 He won't show up. He's paranoid i'ii make a scene. 00:33:54.101 --> 00:33:55.660 Look what he wrote. 00:33:55.869 --> 00:33:57.667 - In the back, too? - what? 00:33:57.871 --> 00:34:00.306 - There's more. - i wrote that. 00:34:00.974 --> 00:34:04.308 - It's upside down. - Sorry. we had a fight. 00:34:04.511 --> 00:34:07.037 He threw a bacheior's party... 00:34:07.247 --> 00:34:09.341 here the night before our wedding. 00:34:09.550 --> 00:34:12.076 I went crazy. So i came down here to-- 00:34:12.286 --> 00:34:13.879 Screw the 1st guy you saw. 00:34:14.087 --> 00:34:16.215 Not reaiiy. i just wanted to... 00:34:16.423 --> 00:34:19.290 - Piss him off. - Yeah. Then you showed up. 00:34:22.930 --> 00:34:27.231 Sergio! Come out, or i'ii make a scene! where is he?! 00:34:27.434 --> 00:34:29.061 Let's go, Rui. 00:34:29.269 --> 00:34:32.330 Listen, do you need any heip? 00:34:32.539 --> 00:34:34.507 Are you okay? 00:34:34.708 --> 00:34:35.903 Shaii we, Rui? 00:34:36.110 --> 00:34:38.238 - You guys iive across from us? - Yeah. 00:34:38.445 --> 00:34:41.005 Can i go up to caii my sister... 00:34:41.215 --> 00:34:44.082 and see if i can sieep over her piace? 00:34:44.618 --> 00:34:46.518 Sure. Come on up. 00:34:46.720 --> 00:34:47.744 It's our wedding night, remember? 00:34:47.955 --> 00:34:51.118 - Weren't you going to sieep? - i don't mean to intrude. 00:34:51.325 --> 00:34:52.952 What? 00:34:54.128 --> 00:34:59.589 We were ieaving on a cruise tonight. 00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:01.325 Now i don't know what to do. 00:35:01.535 --> 00:35:03.594 Reiax. The worst is over. 00:35:03.804 --> 00:35:07.001 You don't get it. we'd booked a cruise... 00:35:07.207 --> 00:35:09.335 to Montevideo. 00:35:09.543 --> 00:35:14.709 A iiner, you know? First ciass, expensive stuff. 00:35:15.416 --> 00:35:17.680 Wait, hoid it, Martha. 00:35:20.254 --> 00:35:22.723 Sorry. i didn't mean to ruin your honeymoon. 00:35:22.923 --> 00:35:24.857 You didn't. Hurry, Martha. 00:35:25.059 --> 00:35:28.085 - He shouidn't have-- - it's okay. 00:35:28.295 --> 00:35:32.163 He shouidn't have... How couid he? 00:35:37.137 --> 00:35:39.504 - Rui! - Yes? 00:35:41.542 --> 00:35:43.943 - Me, too. - You, too, what? 00:35:44.144 --> 00:35:46.579 You have to carry me inside, too! 00:35:46.780 --> 00:35:48.874 0h, right. 00:35:56.090 --> 00:35:59.651 Crazy. This is so crazy! 00:36:00.194 --> 00:36:02.094 I'm sorry. 00:36:03.697 --> 00:36:06.564 I had aii these feeiings bottied up and... 00:36:07.101 --> 00:36:09.729 then, suddeniy... they... 00:36:11.038 --> 00:36:14.235 - Caim down. - i'm caim. 00:36:14.441 --> 00:36:17.741 It's just that now... i'm not so sure i... 00:36:19.413 --> 00:36:21.848 i'm iost. Get her a tranquiiizer. 00:36:22.049 --> 00:36:24.677 - What? - Go get one of your piiis. 00:36:24.885 --> 00:36:26.649 Me? i just got here. 00:36:26.854 --> 00:36:28.845 Is that asking too much? 00:36:34.128 --> 00:36:38.827 She's not a bad person. She's taken to her mother. 00:36:47.808 --> 00:36:49.298 It's gonna be fine. 00:36:51.678 --> 00:36:58.106 I don't know how to thank you for being so nice to me. 00:36:58.786 --> 00:36:59.651 Thank you so much. 00:36:59.853 --> 00:37:00.820 Shit! i got my period. 00:37:01.021 --> 00:37:02.216 - Got what? - My period. 00:37:02.423 --> 00:37:04.949 - I can't get my dress dirty. - How did you know? 00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:06.251 Women can feei it. 00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:07.586 - Where's the bathroom? - There. 00:37:07.795 --> 00:37:09.456 Ask you wife for a thing. 00:37:09.663 --> 00:37:12.564 - Like what? - A tampon. i need a "super." 00:37:12.933 --> 00:37:14.867 Super, eh? 00:37:15.069 --> 00:37:17.003 There's mini, reguiar and super. Ask for a super. 00:37:17.971 --> 00:37:19.336 Super? Fuck! 00:37:21.208 --> 00:37:24.337 Is your pussy mini, reguiar, or super? 00:37:24.912 --> 00:37:27.074 - Tampons. She got her period. - 0n the couch? 00:37:27.381 --> 00:37:28.644 I didn't see any stains. 00:37:28.849 --> 00:37:31.944 - She's so inconvenient. - Let me see. 00:37:32.152 --> 00:37:33.916 Reguiar? She needs super. 00:37:34.121 --> 00:37:36.385 Nonsense. They're ai the same. 00:37:36.590 --> 00:37:39.855 Watch that stranger and our $25,000 doiiar scuipture. 00:37:40.461 --> 00:37:43.055 0oes she stiii need that piii? i can't find it. 00:37:43.263 --> 00:37:46.096 She's got her period. She needs it even more. 00:37:54.742 --> 00:37:56.540 Hi. Thanks. 00:37:56.744 --> 00:37:59.941 - That piii's coming right up. - Reguiar? i said super. 00:38:00.447 --> 00:38:02.006 Martha said it makes no difference. 00:38:02.216 --> 00:38:06.244 0h reaiiy? Suppose you go buy condoms. 00:38:06.453 --> 00:38:08.012 Wouid you buy just any size? 00:38:08.222 --> 00:38:11.988 - Course not. why? - A "mini" one wouid be too tight. 00:38:12.192 --> 00:38:14.991 Exactiy. it's gotta be the right size. what's yours? 00:38:15.195 --> 00:38:16.856 - What? - Size. 00:38:17.064 --> 00:38:18.793 - Size? - Your condom size. 00:38:18.999 --> 00:38:20.967 - Mine? - Yeah. 00:38:21.602 --> 00:38:23.969 Is there one in between normai and super? 00:38:24.571 --> 00:38:25.902 Normai to super, huh? 00:38:26.440 --> 00:38:28.636 Congratuiations, eh? 00:38:28.842 --> 00:38:31.641 Get me a super, okay? Thanks. 00:38:32.913 --> 00:38:34.540 Hey, iisten. 00:38:34.982 --> 00:38:38.418 You just got married, and i don't mean to jinx it... 00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:40.917 but i think you're gonna have maritai probiems. 00:38:41.121 --> 00:38:42.316 We are? 00:38:42.723 --> 00:38:46.159 She being a size mini, and you, a reguiar to super... 00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:48.692 intercourse must be siightiy uncomfortabie for her. 00:38:49.196 --> 00:38:51.460 - You think so? - And, in married iife... 00:38:51.665 --> 00:38:55.863 "siightiy uncomfortabie" becomes unbearabie. 00:38:56.070 --> 00:39:00.268 She'ii end up avoiding sex with you aitogether. watch out. 00:39:03.143 --> 00:39:05.373 Is she aiready avoiding you? 00:39:05.579 --> 00:39:09.243 It's our wedding night. i said: "Let's do it." 00:39:09.450 --> 00:39:10.747 - 0uite naturai, right? - Right. 00:39:10.951 --> 00:39:14.410 - She didn't feei iike it today. - Toid'ya. 00:39:14.622 --> 00:39:17.387 She said her back hurts. 00:39:17.591 --> 00:39:20.686 Typicai excuse. 00:39:20.894 --> 00:39:22.988 It's not her fauit. 00:39:23.197 --> 00:39:25.689 It's our hypocriticai society's. 00:39:25.899 --> 00:39:27.094 Now, you iost me. 00:39:27.301 --> 00:39:29.895 In our society, women don't teii their men: 00:39:30.104 --> 00:39:34.940 "Honey, my vagina is too mini for you penis' size." 00:39:35.142 --> 00:39:36.940 Speciaiiy a huge one iike yours. 00:39:39.847 --> 00:39:42.316 Get me a super, okay? 00:39:46.387 --> 00:39:49.220 Is having intercourse with me uncomfortabie for you? 00:39:49.857 --> 00:39:53.452 She said it is, but you don't have the guts to teii me. 00:39:55.162 --> 00:39:56.527 Give me a break! 00:39:56.730 --> 00:40:00.758 Since your vagina is reguiar, and my cock is reguiar to super... 00:40:00.968 --> 00:40:02.697 you avoid sex with me. 00:40:02.903 --> 00:40:05.770 I avoid sex with you?! Since when? 00:40:05.973 --> 00:40:08.442 Today. You shunned sex on our wedding night. 00:40:08.642 --> 00:40:10.110 You toid her that?! 00:40:10.310 --> 00:40:11.903 - What's the probiem? - Severai! 00:40:12.112 --> 00:40:14.774 0ne: don't discuss our sexuai iife with strangers! 00:40:14.982 --> 00:40:17.314 And 2: my vagina is normai! 00:40:17.518 --> 00:40:19.111 - It's reguiar. - Reguiar is normai! 00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:21.414 No, normai is normai. Reguiar is in between normai and mini. 00:40:21.822 --> 00:40:24.416 And since when is your cock normai to super?! 00:40:24.959 --> 00:40:27.451 - Is it not? - No! it's normai, not super! 00:40:27.661 --> 00:40:30.096 - I know it's not. - You see many cocks?! 00:40:30.297 --> 00:40:33.528 In iocker rooms. i know what normai is. 00:40:34.067 --> 00:40:36.161 And why is yours super?! 00:40:36.370 --> 00:40:38.304 The width. Mine is thick. 00:40:38.505 --> 00:40:39.973 Who toid you that? 00:40:40.174 --> 00:40:42.609 You're jeaious your pussy is reguiar! 00:40:45.312 --> 00:40:49.909 0on't iet that freak near our priceiess baiierina! 00:40:53.220 --> 00:40:57.521 Here. Martha said they're the same. it's just a saies pitch. 00:40:57.725 --> 00:40:59.784 It's society's hypocrisy. 00:41:00.294 --> 00:41:04.253 - Wiii that do? - i don't know. 00:41:04.465 --> 00:41:05.990 You wouidn't beiieve the pressure of my fiow. 00:41:06.200 --> 00:41:07.998 It ieaks sideways. 00:41:08.202 --> 00:41:10.967 - Bad? - Yeah, reai bad. 00:41:11.672 --> 00:41:14.164 What if you wear 2 at once? 00:41:15.876 --> 00:41:18.470 Never done that. i'ii try it, then. 00:41:18.679 --> 00:41:20.306 - I'ii stick 2 in there. - Stick'em! 00:41:20.681 --> 00:41:24.584 Now i'ii need that piii more than ever. Piease? 00:41:24.785 --> 00:41:26.879 - We're iooking for it. - it'd be nice. 00:41:28.088 --> 00:41:30.079 Piease? 00:41:34.328 --> 00:41:36.023 Have you found it? 00:41:36.230 --> 00:41:37.288 Yep. The iast one. 00:41:37.498 --> 00:41:39.466 Where is it? 00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:42.997 It's going down my esophagus. 00:41:43.404 --> 00:41:46.101 I'd been forewarned. 00:41:47.441 --> 00:41:50.376 0nce they marry, women show who they reaiiy are. 00:41:50.577 --> 00:41:52.841 I'm a monster. 0idn't you know it? 00:41:53.047 --> 00:41:55.982 I enter peopie's homes, menstruate on their couches... 00:41:56.183 --> 00:41:58.550 i badmouth other women's vaginas. 00:41:58.752 --> 00:42:01.881 Her marriage is ruined. Show some soiidarity. 00:42:02.756 --> 00:42:03.951 - Here. - what is that? 00:42:04.158 --> 00:42:05.592 A dieting piii. Same thing. 00:42:05.793 --> 00:42:09.423 Same thing?! That's amphetamine. it's an upper. 00:42:09.897 --> 00:42:12.298 Trust me, it's aii in her head. 00:42:12.499 --> 00:42:15.127 Aii she needs is attention from a guy and a coiored piii. 00:42:15.903 --> 00:42:18.065 Won't she taik our heads off? 00:42:18.272 --> 00:42:19.706 Course not. That's a myth. 00:42:20.307 --> 00:42:22.901 I ioved your apartment! Gee! 00:42:23.110 --> 00:42:27.547 It's so spacious, bright, and airy, huh? 00:42:27.748 --> 00:42:31.207 0ur piace is... weii... it's haif... 00:42:31.418 --> 00:42:34.285 the size of this one. And when the sun... 00:42:35.255 --> 00:42:38.418 comes in, ours gets sweitering hot. 00:42:39.159 --> 00:42:41.423 - I ioved this. - 0on't touch! 00:42:41.629 --> 00:42:45.463 It was Martha's great-grandpa's. She ioves it. 00:42:45.666 --> 00:42:46.690 It's quite deiicate. 00:42:46.900 --> 00:42:50.200 Sorry. How much do you pay in taxes here? 00:42:50.404 --> 00:42:53.499 0ur rent is $800 reais... 00:42:53.707 --> 00:42:56.802 and there's no cart for our grocery bags. 00:42:57.011 --> 00:42:58.479 Where's her fucking head? 00:42:58.679 --> 00:43:01.478 Mariana? it's me. Pick up. 00:43:01.682 --> 00:43:03.480 We need to taik. Pick up. 00:43:03.684 --> 00:43:05.015 I'm in troubie. what's your number? 00:43:05.219 --> 00:43:06.687 It's 3-4-3-6-6-6-6. 00:43:06.887 --> 00:43:09.322 3-4-3-6-6-6-6. 00:43:09.523 --> 00:43:11.013 Shit! How do i do this?! 00:43:19.032 --> 00:43:24.471 Fuck! why are these keypads so compact? 00:43:25.406 --> 00:43:28.376 - There's no "rediai" button? - There is. 00:43:28.575 --> 00:43:30.475 - Is there? - Yes. 00:43:30.677 --> 00:43:34.307 It's faded. it's this one here. 00:43:34.515 --> 00:43:36.040 Thanks. i iove rediai buttons. 00:43:36.250 --> 00:43:38.912 It's the modern technoiogy... 00:43:39.119 --> 00:43:41.713 improving our iives, and-- 00:43:42.189 --> 00:43:44.954 Heiio? Schh! Mariana? 00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:47.719 It's Vani. Conciuding my message, i'm at this number: 00:43:47.928 --> 00:43:49.794 4-3-4...? 00:43:49.997 --> 00:43:51.897 3-4-3 or 4-3-4? 00:43:52.099 --> 00:43:55.535 3-4-3-6-6-6-6. 00:43:55.736 --> 00:43:58.068 I won't ieave untii i hear from you. 00:43:58.272 --> 00:44:00.138 - You won't?! - Reiax. 00:44:00.341 --> 00:44:04.335 My sister got wasted tonight. She won't take iong. 00:44:04.545 --> 00:44:06.070 Take your time. 00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:09.011 Guys, an anguish has come over me. 00:44:10.317 --> 00:44:12.479 From within. My mouth's dry... 00:44:14.521 --> 00:44:15.989 i'm gonna have apiripaque . 00:44:17.391 --> 00:44:19.223 Stop it right there! 00:44:19.660 --> 00:44:22.527 Piri what? "Piritáquio ?" 00:44:22.863 --> 00:44:25.423 No, "piripaque ". A fit, you know? 00:44:25.633 --> 00:44:28.603 No, piripaque is more iike a seizure. 00:44:28.802 --> 00:44:32.261 - It's pronounced peripaque . - No, piripaque , with an "i." 00:44:32.473 --> 00:44:33.872 it's peripaque , from Tupi Guarani. 00:44:34.074 --> 00:44:36.042 - Huh? - From Peri, the indian... 00:44:36.610 --> 00:44:38.942 and paque , meaning "attack." 00:44:39.146 --> 00:44:41.615 No! That's Engiish: "pity pack." 00:44:41.815 --> 00:44:47.015 Pity as "sorrow," pack as "massive." Thus: pity pack. 00:44:47.221 --> 00:44:50.782 It's as if massive pain had come over you. 00:44:50.991 --> 00:44:52.959 I've never heard such nonsense. 00:44:53.160 --> 00:44:56.152 I have: "peripaque "means Peri's attack. 00:44:56.363 --> 00:44:58.388 Peri's a fag who throws fits? 00:44:58.599 --> 00:45:00.966 - He's an emotionai indian. - A fag! 00:45:01.302 --> 00:45:02.394 Anyway... 00:45:02.736 --> 00:45:05.967 Vani, forgive me. Come back home. 00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:12.704 Iiove you so very, very much. Sergio. 00:45:37.605 --> 00:45:39.437 Guys... 00:45:39.640 --> 00:45:41.734 i mean it. i'ii have apiripaque ! 00:45:50.417 --> 00:45:54.820 I fucked up! i'm fucked. That's fucked up! 00:45:55.622 --> 00:45:56.783 Rui! 00:45:56.990 --> 00:46:01.894 Check out Vani's piripaque, Rui. 00:46:02.096 --> 00:46:06.693 An orange! "Vani, i iove you." 00:46:06.900 --> 00:46:10.598 why wouid i beiieve your iove's sincere, Sergio?! 00:46:11.038 --> 00:46:12.767 Forget me, okay?! 00:46:12.973 --> 00:46:15.806 Shit. My iove's not sincere? 00:46:16.010 --> 00:46:18.502 What ajoke. i'm being totaiiy honest. 00:46:18.712 --> 00:46:21.704 Here's what i do to our past, Sergio! 00:46:21.915 --> 00:46:25.874 I'm tearing it up, and throwing it away, ok? 00:46:26.086 --> 00:46:29.681 How can it be over, Vani? it's just begun. 00:46:29.890 --> 00:46:34.851 A great iove, fuii of kisses and promises... Shit. 00:46:35.062 --> 00:46:37.360 That's the romantic stuff i dream of. 00:46:37.564 --> 00:46:38.895 0k, i'ii hit you with a watermeion. 00:46:39.466 --> 00:46:45.235 She wants the truth? She'ii have it. 00:46:45.439 --> 00:46:47.305 So cute, and romantic. 00:46:47.508 --> 00:46:49.237 - The Cupid's arrow. - it's phony. 00:46:53.080 --> 00:46:54.878 A siide show! Great! 00:46:55.082 --> 00:46:56.208 - That's him? - Yep. 00:46:56.917 --> 00:47:00.217 I won't faii for your cheap trick! Forget it, honey. 00:47:01.855 --> 00:47:03.721 Look. is that a barbecue? 00:47:04.391 --> 00:47:07.554 It's a party at Nono and Nené's, my cousins. 00:47:07.761 --> 00:47:09.229 - Your cousins? - The weii-hung one's in the back. 00:47:10.364 --> 00:47:12.093 I want my stuff back... 00:47:12.299 --> 00:47:13.562 and aii my photos. 00:47:13.967 --> 00:47:15.901 You'ii get them. Here they are. 00:47:18.172 --> 00:47:20.231 Is that your cousin, too? 00:47:20.441 --> 00:47:22.000 That's... an ice cream that... 00:47:22.476 --> 00:47:26.435 My iawyer wiii coiiect my photos tomorrow, hear me?! 00:47:26.647 --> 00:47:28.547 Expiain these butts now. 00:47:30.718 --> 00:47:32.015 Whose butt is "AMA?" 00:47:32.219 --> 00:47:34.415 it's mine. Looks great, huh? 00:47:35.656 --> 00:47:37.784 No way! 0ur intimacies! 00:47:38.359 --> 00:47:40.657 What's that? 00:47:40.861 --> 00:47:44.798 That's... my dad-- 00:47:45.966 --> 00:47:47.434 i can't expiain that. 00:47:47.768 --> 00:47:50.738 Stick that projector up your ass, Sergio! 00:47:50.938 --> 00:47:51.632 Fucked ya. 00:47:51.839 --> 00:47:53.739 End of the show! 00:47:54.541 --> 00:47:56.839 - What a iife! - Yeah, quite coiorfui, eh? 00:47:57.044 --> 00:47:59.911 Pardon my French. i seidom swear, but... 00:48:00.114 --> 00:48:02.515 that asshoie pisses me off. 00:48:02.716 --> 00:48:06.414 That fucker wiii have to beg me to come back, damn it! 00:48:06.620 --> 00:48:07.553 For the iove of God! 00:48:07.855 --> 00:48:10.324 Swearing is uncaiied-for. 00:48:10.524 --> 00:48:11.685 Forgive me, father. 00:48:11.892 --> 00:48:14.725 - She's foui-mouthed. - Your mamma! 00:48:14.928 --> 00:48:16.623 - See? - "Mamma" is a curse word? 00:48:16.830 --> 00:48:17.956 That's offensive. 00:48:18.165 --> 00:48:20.463 - Your grandma, then. - That's offensive, too. 00:48:20.667 --> 00:48:22.101 - Your aunt, then. - which one? 00:48:22.302 --> 00:48:24.669 - Whichever. - it couid be offensive, too. 00:48:25.072 --> 00:48:26.437 Enough of circumiocution. 00:48:26.640 --> 00:48:31.043 - I'm foui-mouthed?! - He meant get to the point. 00:48:31.245 --> 00:48:34.271 I feei siightiy better, you know? 00:48:34.481 --> 00:48:35.573 Where were we? 00:48:35.783 --> 00:48:37.251 - Us? - Yeah. 00:48:37.451 --> 00:48:38.850 Can't remember. 00:48:39.053 --> 00:48:41.613 You were discussing my vagina. 00:48:41.822 --> 00:48:45.986 Right. You said your penis is too big for her vagina. 00:48:46.560 --> 00:48:47.686 I did not. You did! 00:48:47.895 --> 00:48:50.694 Whoa! i haven't seen either one. 00:48:50.898 --> 00:48:53.959 You said it must be unpieasant when we do it. 00:48:54.168 --> 00:48:56.193 - We?! - Not us. we. 00:48:56.403 --> 00:48:59.031 You said she avoided sex. 00:48:59.406 --> 00:49:04.037 I avoid sex?! i'm very much interest in sex! 00:49:04.244 --> 00:49:05.211 He said that. 00:49:05.412 --> 00:49:08.279 - I did not! - Since when do i avoid sex?! 00:49:08.482 --> 00:49:10.280 - I didn't say that. - She said you did. 00:49:10.484 --> 00:49:12.384 - I did not! - i bet you did! 00:49:12.586 --> 00:49:15.021 - Who wiii you beiieve? - Guys! 00:49:15.222 --> 00:49:17.748 Just-married and fighting iike this? 00:49:17.958 --> 00:49:20.256 Caim down. Put some music on. 00:49:20.461 --> 00:49:22.691 What kind? Modern or oidies? 00:49:22.896 --> 00:49:24.887 An upbeat fiashback. How's that? 00:49:25.099 --> 00:49:28.194 How's that?! i'm the king of fiashbacks. 00:49:28.402 --> 00:49:30.166 - Comin' right up. - i feei great. 00:49:32.439 --> 00:49:33.838 Listen to yourseif! 00:49:34.041 --> 00:49:36.476 - How about you?! - what about me? 00:49:36.910 --> 00:49:40.244 You toid your husband to stick the projector up his ass! 00:49:40.647 --> 00:49:41.978 - That's different. - How? 00:49:42.182 --> 00:49:43.672 Because... 00:50:37.204 --> 00:50:39.673 i, want to know... 00:50:39.873 --> 00:50:44.140 what you said, regarding my interest, in sex. 00:50:44.378 --> 00:50:47.177 I didn't, say, anything, about that, comma. 00:50:47.381 --> 00:50:49.349 I said, your tampon, was... 00:50:49.550 --> 00:50:52.042 average, that is, smaiier than normai. Stop. 00:50:52.252 --> 00:50:54.778 That's why the penis is a muscie, not a bone. 00:50:54.988 --> 00:50:56.820 To fit in different receptacies. 00:50:57.024 --> 00:50:58.924 You know what your probiem is? 00:50:59.126 --> 00:51:02.460 You beiieve what you read in the packaging... 00:51:02.663 --> 00:51:04.631 you beiieve men are faithfui. 00:51:05.032 --> 00:51:06.898 We're discussing tampons, not men. 00:51:07.100 --> 00:51:09.068 You know what reguiations are? 00:51:09.269 --> 00:51:12.671 Wouidn't it be iiiegai if "reguiar" and "super..." 00:51:12.873 --> 00:51:14.671 were identicai sizes? 00:51:14.875 --> 00:51:17.572 I didn't say "identicai," but practicaiiy the same. 00:51:17.778 --> 00:51:19.337 - They're not. - They are. 00:51:19.813 --> 00:51:21.008 They are not! 00:51:21.215 --> 00:51:22.478 - Stop! - Stay out of this. 00:51:22.683 --> 00:51:26.620 I'm reaiiy giad i didn't give you my rice. 00:51:28.288 --> 00:51:30.052 Fine. And i'm giad... 00:51:30.257 --> 00:51:33.921 i got my haif of the church fiowers. 00:51:34.962 --> 00:51:36.726 - You took'em? - Yes, honey. 00:51:36.931 --> 00:51:39.923 Same thing if you had a reguiar or a super decoration. 00:51:40.134 --> 00:51:41.397 - Let's-- - Shut up, Rui! 00:51:41.602 --> 00:51:42.694 - Wanna bet? - what? 00:51:42.903 --> 00:51:44.837 That both sizes are aimost identicai. 00:51:45.039 --> 00:51:46.336 - How much? - $50 doiiars. 00:51:46.540 --> 00:51:47.098 0eai. 00:51:47.307 --> 00:51:49.605 - What time is it? - Two-ish. 00:51:49.810 --> 00:51:52.370 Too iate for a drugstore deiivery. 00:51:52.579 --> 00:51:55.674 0on't you have a super tampon at your piace? 00:51:55.983 --> 00:51:57.678 I do, but i won't got there. 00:51:57.885 --> 00:52:00.047 I'ii go get it. 00:52:00.254 --> 00:52:04.248 - Second fioor, right? - Yeah, #202. 00:52:08.662 --> 00:52:10.289 0oes your husband know where you put your tampons? 00:52:11.365 --> 00:52:15.131 Course. Every man knows where his wife puts her tampons. 00:52:15.336 --> 00:52:18.033 She said "put," but meant "keep." 00:52:18.238 --> 00:52:19.728 You meant where i keep'em? 00:52:22.042 --> 00:52:25.273 In my suitcase. 00:52:28.515 --> 00:52:31.883 There's this song Martha hates. Shouid i put it? 00:52:33.821 --> 00:52:37.758 I won't waste your time 00:52:37.958 --> 00:52:42.191 i'iiiay it out fiatiy before idie 00:52:42.396 --> 00:52:46.833 ineed a remedy reaistrong 00:52:48.168 --> 00:52:51.399 i bet Sergio's spying on us. 00:52:52.439 --> 00:52:55.500 Wiii you get it, piease? 00:52:56.977 --> 00:53:02.746 But iget no one to answerme Who cares? 00:53:03.684 --> 00:53:04.947 - Thanks. - Sure. 00:53:05.152 --> 00:53:09.055 Look, there's a bug here, a cockroach, right here. 00:53:11.425 --> 00:53:15.589 He said there was a magic drug 00:53:15.796 --> 00:53:20.927 which cured aiiand didn't hurt 00:53:23.170 --> 00:53:26.367 Try yourseif. 00:53:31.478 --> 00:53:33.674 Give it to me siow 00:53:33.881 --> 00:53:37.078 Give it to me siow so it won't hurt 00:53:38.118 --> 00:53:41.918 Give it to me nice and siow 00:53:42.523 --> 00:53:46.323 Put it siowiy inside my heart 00:53:53.534 --> 00:53:55.024 Marthie! 00:53:55.235 --> 00:53:57.727 Tiger! we've oniy got 10 minutes. 00:53:57.938 --> 00:53:59.929 You're crazy. 00:54:02.209 --> 00:54:03.643 You're crazy! 00:54:03.844 --> 00:54:06.211 0pen up my dress, Sergio. 00:54:06.413 --> 00:54:09.041 There's so many fucking buttons! 00:54:09.249 --> 00:54:12.150 We've oniy got 5 minutes. 00:54:12.486 --> 00:54:14.011 You're crazy! 00:54:16.023 --> 00:54:20.426 0o you aiways come up to the rooftop to have a smoke? 00:54:21.595 --> 00:54:23.962 Martha has asthma attacks from the smoke. 00:54:24.165 --> 00:54:27.465 I can't sieep with her wheezing next to me, so i smoke up here. 00:54:27.668 --> 00:54:29.830 Incredibie. How can a smoker... 00:54:30.037 --> 00:54:32.301 marry a giri who wheezes with smoke? 00:54:32.907 --> 00:54:35.638 That's what i'm teiiing you. 00:54:35.976 --> 00:54:39.241 - What's that? - Peopie shouid oniy marry... 00:54:39.446 --> 00:54:41.346 the iids to their pots, you know? 00:54:43.183 --> 00:54:45.675 - Come again? - Haven't you heard that? 00:54:45.886 --> 00:54:47.820 - What? - "He's the iid to my pot?" 00:54:48.989 --> 00:54:50.821 - Right. - So, that's what i think. 00:54:51.025 --> 00:54:52.754 Right on. 00:54:52.960 --> 00:54:55.395 And how does one know if he's someone eise's iid? 00:54:56.497 --> 00:55:00.331 Weii, when you find the iid to your pot... 00:55:00.534 --> 00:55:04.198 you get some sort of sign, you know? There. 00:55:04.405 --> 00:55:06.237 I did get a sign. 00:55:06.440 --> 00:55:09.432 Her dad signed our home's downpayment. 00:55:09.643 --> 00:55:12.271 Jesus! You're so materiaiistic. 00:55:12.479 --> 00:55:14.106 Not that kind of sign. 00:55:14.315 --> 00:55:20.049 It's iike, when you kiss for the first time... 00:55:20.254 --> 00:55:24.418 you hear beiis, you know? 00:55:25.726 --> 00:55:28.252 0id you hear beiis? 00:55:28.629 --> 00:55:30.825 - When i first kissed Sergio? - Yeah. 00:55:31.532 --> 00:55:35.491 I heard fiushing. we were in a Ciub's restroom. 00:55:35.703 --> 00:55:38.695 He might be the iid to your toiiet bowi. 00:55:48.282 --> 00:55:49.943 I've iived with Martha over a year. 00:55:50.150 --> 00:55:51.948 We got married, cause her dying grandpa... 00:55:52.152 --> 00:55:55.782 wanted to see her go down the aisie. 00:55:56.290 --> 00:55:59.351 So you didn't hear any beiis with her? 00:55:59.560 --> 00:56:01.494 When i first kissed her? 00:56:01.695 --> 00:56:03.026 I heard: "0on't touch my boobs!" 00:56:03.497 --> 00:56:06.228 - You... - i just... 00:56:06.600 --> 00:56:07.260 grabbed them. 00:56:07.468 --> 00:56:11.837 I understand, cause Martha-- Gosh! She's got... 00:56:12.039 --> 00:56:16.101 such a rack. it's amazing. 00:56:24.051 --> 00:56:26.486 I chose Martha as my soui mate... 00:56:26.687 --> 00:56:31.488 mostiy for her... you know? 00:56:31.692 --> 00:56:33.786 - Tits? - No. integrity. 00:56:34.294 --> 00:56:34.954 Martha's very ioyai. 00:56:36.764 --> 00:56:39.734 Button me up. we won't meet for a whiie. 00:56:39.934 --> 00:56:42.266 Are you ieaving the Gym? 00:56:42.469 --> 00:56:44.198 No, you are. 00:56:44.405 --> 00:56:47.841 - Right. it's risky. - No, i enjoy risks, but... 00:56:48.042 --> 00:56:50.534 newiyweds shouidn't have affairs. 00:56:50.744 --> 00:56:51.677 That's my case. 00:56:51.879 --> 00:56:56.316 Marrying on the same day is fine, but why in the same church? 00:56:56.517 --> 00:57:00.920 Coupies can oniy marry in their iocai parishes. 00:57:01.121 --> 00:57:03.419 I had to present my eiectricity and gas biiis... 00:57:03.624 --> 00:57:05.592 Biiis? To be married? insane! 00:57:05.793 --> 00:57:07.261 Indeed, damn priests. 00:57:07.461 --> 00:57:09.657 0ne thought i was Jewish. 00:57:09.864 --> 00:57:13.232 Had to show him if my dick was circumcised. 00:57:13.434 --> 00:57:15.835 - And is it? - 0amn, Martha! 00:57:16.036 --> 00:57:18.164 Found it. 00:57:18.372 --> 00:57:21.603 Teii her i'm dying with guiit, i swore... 00:57:21.809 --> 00:57:24.210 i'd change, and you saw i meant it. 00:57:24.411 --> 00:57:26.140 I'ii say you were tear-eyed. 00:57:26.780 --> 00:57:29.374 No, i've never cried in front of her... 00:57:29.583 --> 00:57:31.677 iet aione in front of a stranger, see? 00:57:34.488 --> 00:57:35.785 Wiii you bring me a gift from Montevideo? 00:57:35.989 --> 00:57:41.189 0kay. Teii her i iove her way, way more than iife. 00:57:41.395 --> 00:57:43.386 "Way, way more," okay. 00:57:44.365 --> 00:57:46.800 You're crazy. And gorgeous! 00:58:23.504 --> 00:58:26.166 - He'ii kiii himseif. - what?! 00:58:27.107 --> 00:58:29.439 Yep. He's threatening to kiii himseif! 00:58:29.643 --> 00:58:31.077 Sergio? 00:58:31.478 --> 00:58:36.507 He's crying iike a baby. if you... 00:58:36.717 --> 00:58:38.685 don't take him back, he'ii swaiiow 00T! 00:58:38.886 --> 00:58:40.684 0id he say that? 00:58:40.888 --> 00:58:43.550 Yes. And that if you didn't come back in 15 minutes... 00:58:43.757 --> 00:58:46.124 i shouid teii you that... 00:58:46.327 --> 00:58:49.422 he ioves you "way, way more than iife." 00:58:51.532 --> 00:58:53.227 15 minutes, he said. 00:58:53.434 --> 00:58:55.732 A bet is a bet. 00:58:56.737 --> 00:58:59.832 - A tiny difference. - Tiny, my ass. it's huge. 00:59:00.040 --> 00:59:01.474 Are you crazy? Rui! 00:59:02.009 --> 00:59:03.943 It's neither tiny nor huge. 00:59:04.344 --> 00:59:08.645 I can't teii from here. we need an "anatomic" angie. 00:59:08.849 --> 00:59:11.216 0id you save your wedding cake figurines? 00:59:11.418 --> 00:59:13.216 I did. 00:59:13.787 --> 00:59:15.949 Now we're taiking. 00:59:16.156 --> 00:59:18.124 Look. 00:59:18.892 --> 00:59:20.724 Reguiar, right? 00:59:20.928 --> 00:59:23.898 And now, super. 00:59:24.298 --> 00:59:25.459 Reguiar. 00:59:25.666 --> 00:59:30.627 Super... Reguiar... Super... 00:59:30.838 --> 00:59:31.634 Teii me there's no difference. 00:59:31.839 --> 00:59:34.809 0f course, there is. 00:59:37.344 --> 00:59:40.905 I refuse to discuss that with you. 00:59:42.583 --> 00:59:47.111 I got more important things to do than discussing my uterus. 00:59:47.321 --> 00:59:50.188 And so do you, by the way. 00:59:51.425 --> 00:59:53.325 I'ii see you. we're neighbors. 00:59:53.527 --> 00:59:55.461 Yeah. i'ii see you around. 00:59:55.662 --> 00:59:58.029 What if your cousin caiis? 00:59:58.232 --> 00:59:59.927 Cousin? No, my sister. 01:00:00.134 --> 01:00:02.102 If she caiis, what do i say? 01:00:02.369 --> 01:00:05.134 Teii her i went over Sergio's to settie this. 01:00:05.339 --> 01:00:07.933 I won't sieep over her piace. 01:00:08.142 --> 01:00:09.473 There, honey. 01:00:09.677 --> 01:00:13.477 $50 doiiars and your "Super Pussy of the Street" trophy. 01:00:14.114 --> 01:00:14.774 She's jeaious. 01:00:15.382 --> 01:00:17.544 Indeed. Hey, that's my trophy: 01:00:17.751 --> 01:00:20.948 indoor Soccer Champion! 01:01:12.606 --> 01:01:15.507 - So, what's he iike? - who? 01:01:15.709 --> 01:01:18.007 Who, Martha? The guy. 01:01:18.212 --> 01:01:20.078 Worse that she is. 01:01:20.280 --> 01:01:22.339 A cheap womanizer. 01:01:23.517 --> 01:01:25.178 She seemed even-keeied. 01:01:25.386 --> 01:01:28.822 Reasonabie, given her situation. 01:01:30.624 --> 01:01:32.422 Freud wouid expiain this. 01:01:32.626 --> 01:01:35.220 She ieft those behind? 01:01:50.210 --> 01:01:54.147 I said you were in tears, threatening to take 00T. 01:01:56.116 --> 01:01:59.484 I said you were in tears, threatening to take 00T! 01:02:00.287 --> 01:02:03.120 - Who is this? - Me, you dumb-ass! 01:02:03.590 --> 01:02:04.580 0umb-ass? 01:02:10.831 --> 01:02:12.731 You ieft these behind. 01:02:12.933 --> 01:02:15.664 0h, yeah. Throw them to me. 01:02:17.538 --> 01:02:19.563 Come on. 01:02:26.947 --> 01:02:30.440 Man... i'ii give you a hand. 01:02:32.820 --> 01:02:36.723 Carefui, huh? wait. 01:02:37.324 --> 01:02:38.951 - What? - wait. 01:02:39.626 --> 01:02:43.119 - I can't breath. - i'm siipping. 01:02:43.330 --> 01:02:44.320 Got them? 01:02:44.765 --> 01:02:46.631 - This way. - wait! 01:02:53.941 --> 01:02:56.467 - Weii? - i'ii sweep my ieg across. 01:02:56.677 --> 01:02:57.940 I'ii get them now. 01:02:58.278 --> 01:03:00.269 You okay? 01:03:00.481 --> 01:03:01.710 I can't reach. 01:03:01.915 --> 01:03:03.679 Let me just... 01:03:06.587 --> 01:03:09.249 Let me kneei down here. 01:03:09.456 --> 01:03:12.289 Kneei where? wait. 01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:23.561 - Hey, my dress! - Sorry! 01:03:39.887 --> 01:03:42.413 You said i'd poison myseif and she stayed on? 01:03:42.623 --> 01:03:45.422 Yep, because of that tampon bet i toid you about. 01:03:45.626 --> 01:03:47.424 - And who won? - what? 01:03:49.463 --> 01:03:53.161 That's it. Scream, if you need anything. 01:03:53.367 --> 01:03:56.393 I just might. 01:03:56.603 --> 01:04:01.006 No, if you need a ride, advice, or a punch in his face. 01:04:01.208 --> 01:04:03.802 That i wiii need. 01:04:04.345 --> 01:04:08.578 - Hey? - 0id you taik to me? 01:04:09.383 --> 01:04:12.011 Weii, congratuiations. 01:04:12.620 --> 01:04:15.612 You refusai to say who won is taking more time... 01:04:15.823 --> 01:04:17.291 than saying it straightaway. 01:04:17.491 --> 01:04:21.553 She won, okay?! Happy now, man? 01:04:21.762 --> 01:04:23.662 Who's this? 01:04:23.864 --> 01:04:25.491 - Who is it? - My mom. 01:04:25.699 --> 01:04:27.633 She's shocked at aii this mess. 01:04:27.835 --> 01:04:29.200 - You said "man." - 0id i? 01:04:29.403 --> 01:04:31.667 Yeah, "happy now, man?" 01:04:31.872 --> 01:04:35.467 Mom, did i said "happy, man" or "happy, mom?" 01:04:36.043 --> 01:04:38.273 "Mom?" "Happy, mom?!" 01:04:38.479 --> 01:04:39.446 Sorry. 01:04:39.646 --> 01:04:41.444 For what, Martha? i'm iost. 01:04:41.982 --> 01:04:45.577 I did say, "happy, man?" My mistake. 01:04:45.786 --> 01:04:48.653 Mom, i gotta go now, and consummate my marriage. 01:04:48.856 --> 01:04:50.085 Bye, mom. 01:04:51.525 --> 01:04:53.152 What's this "mom" shit? 01:04:54.595 --> 01:04:56.222 - What? - Nothing. it's fine. 01:04:56.430 --> 01:04:58.398 And remember: 01:04:58.599 --> 01:05:01.728 consummate it with your ieft hand. 01:05:05.005 --> 01:05:07.201 Sergio?! 01:05:07.407 --> 01:05:09.307 I'm here. 01:05:13.047 --> 01:05:16.017 I'd poison myseif with 00T, if you didn't come back. 01:05:17.551 --> 01:05:22.011 I'd poison myseif with 00T, if you didn't come back. 01:05:22.222 --> 01:05:24.657 - You wouid not. - Yes, i wouid. 01:05:25.059 --> 01:05:26.185 Wouid not. 01:05:26.393 --> 01:05:27.918 - Why not? - Because. 01:05:28.128 --> 01:05:29.755 - 0f course, i wouid. - wouid not. 01:05:30.130 --> 01:05:30.926 Yes, i wouid. 01:05:31.131 --> 01:05:33.122 Wouid not. wouid not. 01:05:33.334 --> 01:05:34.824 - 0kay, i wouidn't. - i knew it. 01:05:35.502 --> 01:05:37.368 Cause i knew you'd come back. 01:05:37.738 --> 01:05:39.263 - I wouid not. - Yes, you wouid. 01:05:39.473 --> 01:05:40.963 Wouid not. why wouid i? 01:05:41.642 --> 01:05:44.441 Because i iove you. 01:05:45.012 --> 01:05:47.310 - You do not, Sergio. - i do, Vani. 01:05:47.515 --> 01:05:49.210 - You do not. - i do. 01:05:50.718 --> 01:05:53.517 - 0o ya? - Look at me. 01:05:53.720 --> 01:05:56.985 Have you ever seen me this tear-eyed? 01:06:00.027 --> 01:06:04.863 Now you'ii know the pieasures of sex, my damsei. 01:06:05.065 --> 01:06:07.227 No, your damsei's got her period. 01:06:07.434 --> 01:06:11.234 No probiem. There are other possibiiities. 01:06:13.574 --> 01:06:15.702 - What was that? - what? 01:06:15.910 --> 01:06:19.039 - That noise. - what noise? 01:06:21.749 --> 01:06:23.080 That one. 01:06:24.885 --> 01:06:27.820 What is it? 01:07:02.022 --> 01:07:04.320 - What is that, Martha? - weii? 01:07:04.525 --> 01:07:07.586 Was my show reguiar or super? 01:07:07.795 --> 01:07:09.695 - It was super. - 0idn't hear ya. 01:07:09.897 --> 01:07:12.195 Super! 01:07:12.399 --> 01:07:15.801 Come here, then. Come on. 01:07:16.103 --> 01:07:18.731 0pen up these buttons. i have a surprise for you. 01:07:19.506 --> 01:07:21.998 - What surprise? - 0pen them, and i'ii teii you. 01:07:22.209 --> 01:07:24.143 - What? - i've saved... 01:07:24.345 --> 01:07:27.940 part of my virginity for our wedding night. 01:07:29.049 --> 01:07:30.483 I'm serious. 01:07:30.684 --> 01:07:34.621 There's one thing i've never done and i want do it tonight. 01:07:35.456 --> 01:07:38.517 - What is it? - weii, Rui, it. 01:07:38.726 --> 01:07:42.253 - What is it? - it, Rui. 01:07:42.463 --> 01:07:44.431 We've aiready done "it." 01:07:44.631 --> 01:07:48.568 No, i mean something much better. 01:07:49.036 --> 01:07:51.801 In that case... 01:07:52.006 --> 01:07:55.135 it can oniy be "it." 01:07:55.876 --> 01:07:57.970 - How odd. wait. - what? 01:07:58.178 --> 01:08:00.374 0idn't i button you up iast? 01:08:00.581 --> 01:08:02.709 - In the car? - Sure. 01:08:02.916 --> 01:08:06.910 Weii, someone's missed 3 buttonhoies. 01:08:07.588 --> 01:08:08.646 Am i missing a button? 01:08:08.856 --> 01:08:12.019 No, someone's buttoned you up, but missed 3 buttonhoies. 01:08:12.626 --> 01:08:19.293 I-i had to use the b-bathroom at that m-maniac's... 01:08:19.500 --> 01:08:21.093 husband's piace. 01:08:21.635 --> 01:08:24.502 - His bathroom? - i had to p-p-pee. why? 01:08:25.706 --> 01:08:28.676 The guy in tears threatening to kiii himseif, and you peed? 01:08:30.277 --> 01:08:31.608 Yeah, s-s-so what, Rui? 01:08:32.112 --> 01:08:34.513 0id you have to undress your top to pee? 01:08:35.783 --> 01:08:39.515 N-no. i-i washed my face, so i-i iowered it... 01:08:39.720 --> 01:08:40.710 to... to avoid g-getting it wet. 01:08:40.921 --> 01:08:43.390 -Why are you stammering? - i'm not. 01:08:43.590 --> 01:08:44.785 Am not! why? 01:08:45.025 --> 01:08:49.326 See the ievei of your gaiioping paranoia, Vani?! 01:08:49.730 --> 01:08:51.824 I don't even know what i'm being accused of. 01:08:52.266 --> 01:08:54.894 This rice, Sergio. How did it end up on your bed? 01:08:55.803 --> 01:08:57.498 How wouid i know? 01:08:57.705 --> 01:09:00.231 - You brought that giri in here! - No. 01:09:00.441 --> 01:09:02.466 Was she in the iiving room the whoie time? 01:09:03.177 --> 01:09:06.977 And she went into the kitchen to get your tampon. 01:09:07.181 --> 01:09:11.482 So, these rice grains came jumping aii the way here. 01:09:11.685 --> 01:09:13.346 Actuaiiy, they're not rice. 01:09:13.554 --> 01:09:16.854 They're Mexican aibino jumping beans... 01:09:17.057 --> 01:09:20.516 - right, Sergio?! - why are you asking me? 01:09:20.728 --> 01:09:24.995 You know damn weii dona Rosa is responsibie for the cieaning. 01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:27.668 You're gonna biame her now. 01:09:27.868 --> 01:09:30.428 A kardecist widow, mother of 5... 01:09:31.071 --> 01:09:32.766 sexiess since '63? 01:09:32.973 --> 01:09:35.499 So she drank champagne in our giass... 01:09:35.943 --> 01:09:38.878 wearing pink iipstick, then picked rice on our bed? 01:09:39.079 --> 01:09:41.047 Peopie do crazy stuff. 01:09:41.248 --> 01:09:44.411 Like you. 0idn't you fight for that Pussy Trophy... 01:09:44.752 --> 01:09:47.187 whiie i was kiiiing myseif with 00T? 01:09:47.387 --> 01:09:50.220 I didn't not fight for any-- 01:09:50.791 --> 01:09:52.885 How did you know that? 01:09:54.194 --> 01:09:55.684 I hadn't toid you. 01:09:58.165 --> 01:10:01.567 Have you been taiking to that woman? 01:10:01.769 --> 01:10:02.998 Where are you going? 01:10:03.203 --> 01:10:04.932 - Guess. - No idea. 01:10:05.139 --> 01:10:08.439 I'ii verify your story at that guy's. 01:10:09.443 --> 01:10:12.242 "My story?" Are you crazy? 01:10:12.913 --> 01:10:16.440 This is between you and me, between the two of us. 01:10:16.650 --> 01:10:18.584 The 4 of us. Look what i found. 01:10:18.786 --> 01:10:20.481 - I can't see it. - Rice. 01:10:20.688 --> 01:10:22.452 A iittie rice, no biggie. 01:10:22.656 --> 01:10:25.353 - So what? - Exactiy what i said. 01:10:25.559 --> 01:10:28.756 I found it on our bed. it must've come from her! 01:10:28.963 --> 01:10:31.591 - From me? - Yes! You bitch! 01:10:34.034 --> 01:10:36.162 I know they did it whiie she was here. 01:10:36.370 --> 01:10:38.395 Look for her pink iipstick. 01:10:38.605 --> 01:10:39.595 You're insane! 01:10:40.140 --> 01:10:41.437 No, you are! Bitch ! 01:10:41.642 --> 01:10:43.474 - 0on't caii me that! - Let go of her, asshoie! 01:10:43.677 --> 01:10:45.805 I'm trying to heip! She's my wife! 01:10:46.013 --> 01:10:48.846 His mini-dick must fit her reguiar pussy. 01:10:49.049 --> 01:10:51.279 You're 100o% crazy! 01:10:51.485 --> 01:10:53.817 I'm going over there. i don't want make a scene. 01:10:57.291 --> 01:10:58.759 Where's my giass? 01:10:58.959 --> 01:11:01.894 I don't know what you're taiking about. 01:11:02.096 --> 01:11:04.030 Where is it? 0h, you'ii have a iittie juice? 01:11:04.231 --> 01:11:08.862 That's been sitting there for over a year. 01:11:09.069 --> 01:11:10.764 - Tastes great. - i doubt it. 01:11:10.971 --> 01:11:13.702 You're trying to fooi me. where's my giass? 01:11:13.908 --> 01:11:16.673 I'm your husband now. i couid have you committed. 01:11:17.044 --> 01:11:21.140 For ajerk, you're a terribie iiar. 01:11:21.348 --> 01:11:24.477 - Where's my giass? - i have no idea. 01:11:25.219 --> 01:11:27.688 In the fridge. 01:11:27.888 --> 01:11:32.450 Rui, if you ruin my iipsticks, i'ii kiii you! 01:11:39.233 --> 01:11:41.964 That won't come out. 01:11:42.169 --> 01:11:44.968 We'ii need a new paint job. 01:11:45.172 --> 01:11:48.039 I feei iike retaiiating your act of vandaiism. 01:11:48.676 --> 01:11:50.872 What can i do? 01:11:51.078 --> 01:11:54.343 What if i smash that cheap dinnerware set... 01:11:54.548 --> 01:11:56.539 we got from your parents? 01:11:56.750 --> 01:12:00.653 Yeah! i'ii break that cheap dinnerware set... 01:12:00.854 --> 01:12:03.983 we got from your parents. 01:12:19.006 --> 01:12:21.475 Easy, Vani. if you fiip your iid... 01:12:21.675 --> 01:12:23.837 you'ii cease being right... 01:12:24.044 --> 01:12:28.447 which you are. Gotta be outraged, yet sensibie. 01:12:31.051 --> 01:12:32.883 0h, great! 01:12:39.760 --> 01:12:41.250 Where's that fucking iipstick?! 01:12:41.462 --> 01:12:42.930 You broke my great-grandma's baiierina! 01:12:43.130 --> 01:12:45.758 I did not! 01:12:47.902 --> 01:12:49.836 Look! 01:12:50.037 --> 01:12:53.769 This is unbeiievabie. 01:12:53.974 --> 01:12:57.774 My assets suffered a biow, and you rant over iipstick? 01:12:58.078 --> 01:12:59.842 And oniy i wear it?! 01:13:00.047 --> 01:13:03.711 Next, you'ii say Patrick Lemar's made it exciusiveiy for me. 01:13:03.918 --> 01:13:08.617 Liar! He aiready knew i'd won the Super Pussy Trophy. 01:13:08.822 --> 01:13:10.187 Was he the man on the phone? 01:13:10.391 --> 01:13:13.326 - 0id she caii anyone? - Not anyone. My mom. 01:13:13.527 --> 01:13:16.019 0on't faii for this nonsense. 01:13:16.230 --> 01:13:18.164 - She's out of her mind! - where's the phone? 01:13:18.365 --> 01:13:21.562 My mom went to bed right after we hung up. 01:13:21.769 --> 01:13:23.498 Is her number 3-- ? 01:13:23.704 --> 01:13:26.230 She wears earpiugs. My dad snores. 01:13:26.440 --> 01:13:27.999 - What's her number? - 2-7-- 01:13:28.208 --> 01:13:31.576 0on't! You'ii cancei the iast number! Press "rediai." 01:13:31.779 --> 01:13:33.304 0o it and we're through. 01:13:33.514 --> 01:13:36.074 - Press "rediai." - wiii you trust this woman... 01:13:36.283 --> 01:13:37.444 you've just met over me? 01:13:37.651 --> 01:13:40.643 Press it. Press it. 01:13:43.157 --> 01:13:45.592 What-the-feck! 01:13:45.793 --> 01:13:47.318 Pardon me? 01:13:47.528 --> 01:13:49.860 What was that, Rui ? 01:13:50.064 --> 01:13:52.965 - I got mixed up. - Poor him. 01:13:53.167 --> 01:13:54.032 I meant to say "piripaque." 01:13:54.234 --> 01:13:58.296 Say "piripaque," "piripaque," reai fast, it sounds iike... 01:13:58.505 --> 01:14:00.633 "what-the-feck", see? 01:14:30.738 --> 01:14:32.638 I stiii don't get it. 01:14:33.407 --> 01:14:36.741 How did "piripaque" turn into "what-the-feck?" 01:14:37.278 --> 01:14:39.645 i had an adrenaiine rush... 01:14:39.847 --> 01:14:42.942 cause severai peopie's fates depended on that rediaiing. 01:14:43.150 --> 01:14:48.145 The brain sends the tongue an impuise it can't controi. 01:14:48.355 --> 01:14:51.723 0nce, i ieft a party reaiiy wasted, and i... 01:14:51.926 --> 01:14:53.189 got puiied over by the poiice. 01:14:53.394 --> 01:14:56.762 Instead of saying, "Good evening, officer..." 01:14:56.964 --> 01:15:00.764 i said, "Can i go if i fiash at you?" 01:15:01.368 --> 01:15:03.769 - Anyway... - Yeah, anyway... 01:15:08.609 --> 01:15:10.634 Heiio? Good evening. 01:15:10.845 --> 01:15:13.815 Who's this? i see. 01:15:14.014 --> 01:15:17.348 This is the phone company. we're running some tests. 01:15:17.551 --> 01:15:20.452 Wouid you piease stick your phone up your ass? 01:15:20.654 --> 01:15:22.782 - Was it her mother? - Unbeiievabie! 01:15:22.990 --> 01:15:26.016 A prankster caiier at such an ungodiy hour. 01:15:26.227 --> 01:15:28.719 Peopie have no respect, reaiiy. 01:15:28.929 --> 01:15:29.919 What's next? 01:15:31.532 --> 01:15:35.901 Shit! won't that animai break them apart? 01:15:36.904 --> 01:15:39.373 Weii? want me to stick that phone up your ass? 01:15:39.573 --> 01:15:41.041 Enough! Say no more! 01:15:41.241 --> 01:15:43.175 - He didn't do it. - i didn't. 01:15:43.377 --> 01:15:45.311 - I'd never do that! - i wouid... 01:15:45.512 --> 01:15:47.207 - but i heard screaming. - Screaming? 01:15:47.782 --> 01:15:50.274 A cat fight. Lotsa screaming, but no one gets hurt. 01:15:57.591 --> 01:16:00.117 Stop it! Your story's so sinfui... 01:16:00.594 --> 01:16:03.461 i can oniy hear you in the confessionai. 01:16:04.131 --> 01:16:05.565 We're not here to confess. 01:16:05.766 --> 01:16:07.461 We haven't sinned. They have. 01:16:07.668 --> 01:16:09.500 We're the victims in aii this. 01:16:09.703 --> 01:16:13.799 I'm boarding a iiner in 1 hour. No time to confess. 01:16:14.275 --> 01:16:15.606 I'm staying right here. 01:16:15.809 --> 01:16:19.439 You want to taik to me? You'ii have to confess, individuaiiy. 01:16:19.814 --> 01:16:21.373 I refuse to confess. 01:16:21.582 --> 01:16:23.277 And i'm ciaustrophobic. 01:16:23.484 --> 01:16:26.351 I'm not moving. You decide. 01:16:28.055 --> 01:16:30.456 If we must confess, we shouid sin first. 01:16:30.658 --> 01:16:32.888 And confess iater. 01:16:33.093 --> 01:16:36.620 A reaiiy hairy sin to have your fuii attention. 01:16:36.831 --> 01:16:39.528 Excuse us whiie we have a quickie here. 01:16:39.733 --> 01:16:44.432 The first one to be done wiii confess to you, ok? 01:16:47.341 --> 01:16:51.300 Time's running out to prevent a sinfui act in your church. 01:16:52.613 --> 01:16:54.638 God! 01:16:55.149 --> 01:16:58.414 Let iust begin! 01:16:58.686 --> 01:17:00.620 I'm gonna French kiss him. 01:17:00.821 --> 01:17:04.758 French kissing in the vestry? wait tiii the Vatican hears it. 01:17:04.959 --> 01:17:07.758 Heads wiii roii! 01:17:27.147 --> 01:17:29.343 - 0id you hear that? - i did. 01:17:43.631 --> 01:17:45.326 Aii aboard! 01:17:45.532 --> 01:17:48.160 0eparture's at 10 o'ciock! 01:17:48.369 --> 01:17:50.463 Aii aboard! 01:17:50.671 --> 01:17:53.504 0eparture's in 25 minutes! 01:17:54.208 --> 01:17:57.644 I won't forfeit my oniy transatiantic cruise... 01:17:57.845 --> 01:17:58.937 by staying here! 01:17:59.146 --> 01:18:03.105 We both heard beiis. what more do you want?! 01:18:03.317 --> 01:18:06.912 0o you want to date me? Caii me to catch a movie? 01:18:07.121 --> 01:18:08.452 Maybe. why not? 01:18:08.656 --> 01:18:11.148 Because i'ii never ever date again. 01:18:11.358 --> 01:18:12.848 - Liar. - 0h yeah? 01:18:13.060 --> 01:18:16.030 I'ii have sex, get married, have chiidren, but i won't date. 01:18:16.230 --> 01:18:19.029 I couid get a divorce, but i'm too oid to date. 01:18:19.233 --> 01:18:21.361 Wait. Come here. 01:18:21.568 --> 01:18:25.801 Put me down! i'ii honeymoon wherever i want! 01:18:27.641 --> 01:18:30.611 Look, i did that, cause i've got something for you. 01:18:30.811 --> 01:18:32.472 Reaiiy? i want nothing from you. 01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:34.205 It's a piece of jeweiry. 01:18:34.415 --> 01:18:36.907 A heirioom i saved for that speciai woman. 01:18:37.618 --> 01:18:38.779 - Jeweiry? - i thought... 01:18:38.986 --> 01:18:40.784 Martha never reaiiy deserved it. 01:18:41.589 --> 01:18:44.115 What kind? A diamond? 01:18:44.325 --> 01:18:47.260 It's soiid goid. i wanted you to have it... 01:18:47.461 --> 01:18:49.054 to remember me on your trip. 01:18:50.364 --> 01:18:52.389 I'ii wait here. But hurry back... 01:18:53.834 --> 01:18:56.769 or i'ii just go ahead, and board. 01:18:57.438 --> 01:19:01.068 Life is so crazy 01:19:01.275 --> 01:19:03.869 So short 01:19:04.078 --> 01:19:08.515 Since ican't take you with me 01:19:08.716 --> 01:19:11.310 i want you to take me with you 01:19:13.754 --> 01:19:17.088 0ut of the way! Come on! 01:21:02.162 --> 01:21:06.531 See, Martha? i knew he'd come back. 01:21:09.436 --> 01:21:11.871 I'd iove to strangie you. 01:21:17.144 --> 01:21:20.409 - Coming! who is it? - Severino, the doorman. 01:21:21.882 --> 01:21:24.476 Stop! You're trespassing. i couid caii the poiice! 01:21:24.685 --> 01:21:27.848 Easy, i'm caim. i was angry back then. 01:21:28.055 --> 01:21:31.047 - Where's Vani? - Let's act as civiiized men. 01:21:31.258 --> 01:21:33.727 - Much better. - what's your name? 01:21:33.928 --> 01:21:35.692 My name? Sérgio Fonteneie. 01:21:36.864 --> 01:21:39.925 Rui, Martha's husband. The giri you've been banging. 01:21:41.068 --> 01:21:42.934 0uch! wait! My bursitis! 01:21:43.137 --> 01:21:45.231 - Too bad. what's your team? - Fiamengo. 01:21:45.439 --> 01:21:47.237 Favorite cartoon characters? 01:21:47.441 --> 01:21:48.772 - The Fiintstones. - 0kay. So... 01:21:48.976 --> 01:21:51.172 you'ii sing Botafogo's anthem in the Fiintstones' voice. 01:21:51.645 --> 01:21:53.943 - Hey, Fred. - No, sing, sing. 01:21:54.448 --> 01:22:01.115 Botafogo, Botafogo, 1910's Champion. 01:23:12.893 --> 01:23:15.555 My piece of jeweiry? 01:23:15.963 --> 01:23:19.092 - You stayed? - No, i'm gone. See me there? 01:23:19.433 --> 01:23:21.731 Where's my soiid goid ring? 01:23:22.203 --> 01:23:22.999 Wait. 01:23:23.204 --> 01:23:25.172 - I won't take cheap stuff. - Fine. 01:23:25.372 --> 01:23:27.170 - My ring! - Your right hand. 01:23:27.374 --> 01:23:29.934 - What? - Right hand. 01:23:30.478 --> 01:23:33.607 "Rui, 9/17/96." That's yesterday... 01:23:33.814 --> 01:23:36.749 but untii we go to bed it's stiii yesterday. 01:23:38.085 --> 01:23:39.951 Your turn. 01:23:40.154 --> 01:23:41.553 - Put my ring. - what? 01:23:41.755 --> 01:23:43.917 Gotta read it first. 01:23:44.124 --> 01:23:46.559 "Vaniice, 9/17/96." 01:23:46.761 --> 01:23:48.251 "Vaniice?" 01:23:48.462 --> 01:23:50.260 Vani is my nickname. 01:23:50.464 --> 01:23:52.364 Nobody's perfect. 01:23:54.235 --> 01:23:55.896 - Now what? - we're engaged. 01:23:56.103 --> 01:23:58.663 You said "no dating." So we're engaged. 01:23:58.873 --> 01:24:01.467 And what's with that wedding band, you dog? 01:24:03.644 --> 01:24:08.582 When we met that day it wasjust as iexpected 01:24:08.783 --> 01:24:13.778 You didn't recognize me butpretended it was okay 01:24:13.988 --> 01:24:18.892 iknow you must have kept a bit of me inside you 01:24:19.093 --> 01:24:24.156 Like a siient movie before words were invented 01:24:24.365 --> 01:24:27.926 i've tuned up my ears 01:24:28.902 --> 01:24:33.237 to hearyourcaiis 01:24:36.877 --> 01:24:39.903 Now that you're aii dizzy... 01:24:40.114 --> 01:24:43.140 those cards wiii roii up, with info on the characters. 01:24:56.964 --> 01:24:59.661 This fisherman invested in smuggiing the $50 doiiars... 01:24:59.867 --> 01:25:02.564 Vani paid for this "cruise", and got rich. 01:25:03.437 --> 01:25:09.399 Rui & Vani are stiii happiiy engaged. (At ieast, iast we checked.) 01:25:09.610 --> 01:25:12.841 Their iove bore a totaiiy normai 71-segment TV series. 01:25:14.014 --> 01:25:17.882 Martha & Sergio had sex a few more times, than got bored. 01:25:19.286 --> 01:25:22.586 Sergio got a sheriff's daughter pregnant... 01:25:22.790 --> 01:25:26.124 and finaiiy got married. 01:25:27.561 --> 01:25:30.292 And Martha is here, in the iast row... 01:25:30.498 --> 01:25:33.263 feeiing the ex-fisherman's crotch. 01:25:42.343 --> 01:25:45.335 Engiish Transiation: Monika Pecegueiro do Amarai 01:29:23.364 --> 01:29:26.356 BASE0 0N TV GL0B0 SERiES, "0S N0RMAiS".

Subtitles

Os Normais - O Filme (2003) - Comédia Romântica